Journal entry by Iris S —
Hi there.
I'm Iris and I'm chronically fed up with life I guess.
I'm sorry this is a long post, I clearly needed to vent🙂
I'm always fatigued and in pain.
I can't go out for walks because every nerve endings in my feet are damaged and if I had to describe the different types of pain I experience I would do it this way.
Imagine always feeling like you're wearing very tight socks but you're barefoot. I almost always feel like I have to move my toes to separate them but they move normally.
Wearing socks is awful as it makes the tightness feeling even worse and it feels like there' sand in my socks which makes it hard to walk. If I'm wearing socks I can't stop thinking of taking them off.
Shoes, I HATE having to wear shoes. Often it feels like I'm walking on rocks, you know that digging feeling when walking barefoot on gravel, yeah that feeling. Sometimes it feels like I'm walking on the backside of many knives and almost always after I've walked for a couple of minutes the to of my feet feel like they are on fire and I to often feel that even when n I'm barefoot 😕
Sometimes the pain goes up to mid calf.
I've been like this since April 2014 after I had my 2nd total hip replacement.
Yeah..... I've had to have both replaced, 7 months apart, fun stuff.
I've become a bit anti social because I never feel good enough to enjoy outings but on the rare occasion that someone invited me to do something I try to be positive and happy, often hiding how much pain I'm in but I let people know if it becomes too much and I ask to go home. Too often I have to decline the invitation because I'm feeling too sick or I'm in too much pain to even put my shoes on.
When Covid19 became a problem I was ordered by my GP to go into self quarantine. My last work day was on March 5th, had the last physical therapy massage on the 6th and on the 7th I started quarantine.
It made me calmer somehow. No pressure to go outside and no worrying that someone would want to come for a visit. My apartment is a disaster because I'm in too much pain and get exhausted within minutes I have a hard time cleaning and I'm too embarrassed to ask for help😒
I'm now probably going back into self quarantine because Covid19 is back and the numbers are rising thanks to tourists and people going on vacation abroad.😠 The word part is that everyone that comes to my country is tested at the airport but 4 countries are exempt from the testing which is really f*ing stupid!
We eliminated the virus in June and now there is a new strand, this sucks!! We are pissed off that our government gave in and opened our country because of pressure of the tourism industry!
This virus terrifies me.
I got the Swine flu and it damaged my lungs or greatly affected my lungs which apparently caused asthma and I often have to use 2 inhalers.
I always get really sick even if I just get a cold. I got the flu in the beginning of February and it was so bad. I even got mid ear infection that was really bad. I now understand why children scream, cry and rub their ears. This is agony, much worse than adult ear infections. I was sick for almost a month and my lungs rattled but it didn't turn into pneumonia, it sure felt like pneumonia and my mom wanted me to go to the hospital but I refused to go.
Another reason the virus scares me is that I have a weak heart and I only have 1 kidney. The virus can in very bad cases attack the kidneys. My GP told me my kidney wouldn't survive another attack.
Two years ago I got an Ecoli infection in my kidney and two worse bacterias. I ended up in the hospital 2 before days before Christmas. I was rushed into the ER and they put in a catheter in my BACK right up to my kidney. They put in a central line because my veins collapsed because of dehydration after being very ill for 9 days before I went to the hospital. I was there too weak and I'll to even watch TV the first week and it was the first time in my adult life that the doctors didn't know when I could go home, I've always had ton fight to stay longer. That scared me so much and I was so alone that the nurses and staff have me more attention, one nurse kissed me on the cheek and told me that she was there for me. I was there for 19 days.
Ok I'm stopping now...bye❤️
I'm Iris and I'm chronically fed up with life I guess.
I'm sorry this is a long post, I clearly needed to vent🙂
I'm always fatigued and in pain.
I can't go out for walks because every nerve endings in my feet are damaged and if I had to describe the different types of pain I experience I would do it this way.
Imagine always feeling like you're wearing very tight socks but you're barefoot. I almost always feel like I have to move my toes to separate them but they move normally.
Wearing socks is awful as it makes the tightness feeling even worse and it feels like there' sand in my socks which makes it hard to walk. If I'm wearing socks I can't stop thinking of taking them off.
Shoes, I HATE having to wear shoes. Often it feels like I'm walking on rocks, you know that digging feeling when walking barefoot on gravel, yeah that feeling. Sometimes it feels like I'm walking on the backside of many knives and almost always after I've walked for a couple of minutes the to of my feet feel like they are on fire and I to often feel that even when n I'm barefoot 😕
Sometimes the pain goes up to mid calf.
I've been like this since April 2014 after I had my 2nd total hip replacement.
Yeah..... I've had to have both replaced, 7 months apart, fun stuff.
I've become a bit anti social because I never feel good enough to enjoy outings but on the rare occasion that someone invited me to do something I try to be positive and happy, often hiding how much pain I'm in but I let people know if it becomes too much and I ask to go home. Too often I have to decline the invitation because I'm feeling too sick or I'm in too much pain to even put my shoes on.
When Covid19 became a problem I was ordered by my GP to go into self quarantine. My last work day was on March 5th, had the last physical therapy massage on the 6th and on the 7th I started quarantine.
It made me calmer somehow. No pressure to go outside and no worrying that someone would want to come for a visit. My apartment is a disaster because I'm in too much pain and get exhausted within minutes I have a hard time cleaning and I'm too embarrassed to ask for help😒
I'm now probably going back into self quarantine because Covid19 is back and the numbers are rising thanks to tourists and people going on vacation abroad.😠 The word part is that everyone that comes to my country is tested at the airport but 4 countries are exempt from the testing which is really f*ing stupid!
We eliminated the virus in June and now there is a new strand, this sucks!! We are pissed off that our government gave in and opened our country because of pressure of the tourism industry!
This virus terrifies me.
I got the Swine flu and it damaged my lungs or greatly affected my lungs which apparently caused asthma and I often have to use 2 inhalers.
I always get really sick even if I just get a cold. I got the flu in the beginning of February and it was so bad. I even got mid ear infection that was really bad. I now understand why children scream, cry and rub their ears. This is agony, much worse than adult ear infections. I was sick for almost a month and my lungs rattled but it didn't turn into pneumonia, it sure felt like pneumonia and my mom wanted me to go to the hospital but I refused to go.
Another reason the virus scares me is that I have a weak heart and I only have 1 kidney. The virus can in very bad cases attack the kidneys. My GP told me my kidney wouldn't survive another attack.
Two years ago I got an Ecoli infection in my kidney and two worse bacterias. I ended up in the hospital 2 before days before Christmas. I was rushed into the ER and they put in a catheter in my BACK right up to my kidney. They put in a central line because my veins collapsed because of dehydration after being very ill for 9 days before I went to the hospital. I was there too weak and I'll to even watch TV the first week and it was the first time in my adult life that the doctors didn't know when I could go home, I've always had ton fight to stay longer. That scared me so much and I was so alone that the nurses and staff have me more attention, one nurse kissed me on the cheek and told me that she was there for me. I was there for 19 days.
Ok I'm stopping now...bye❤️
Patients and caregivers love hearing from you; add a comment to show your support.
Help Iris Stay Connected to Family and Friends
A $25 donation to CaringBridge powers a site like Iris's for two weeks. Will you make a gift to help ensure that this site stays online for them and for you?
