We have miraculously made it past that 2 year mark the doctors gave us. We feel hope hovering over us now as we wait and watch the cancer to see if it will grow…or if it will shrink. Our scan this month shows that the cancer continues to be stable. We feel the relief as a great exhale from holding our breath as we awaited these results. Only to suck in the very next breath as we begin the wait for the next scan. For each scan carries with it a possibility we might not want to face. Only our God can remove this cancer and we choose to hope. 

I often get asked if we are back to church. Sadly, no. What do you do when the church hurts you? When they offer no spiritual support during your your time of need? When they drop you from their prayer list in the midst of your trial? How do you overcome the hurt? Do you simply (although not so simple after 20+years at one church) find another church? Do you stuff down the hurt and go back like it never happened?

Cancer - stage 4 cancer - the doctors gave us 2 years - our church dropped us after 1 year. Took us off their prayer list. No leadership reached out to us to offer spiritual support or encouragement when our need was great. Only occasionally, a member reached out. We have grieved this loss; deeply hurt by what we thought we could rely on in our time of need.

We are so relieved, so grateful that the cancer is not growing or spreading at this time. Yet, we hurt so much from the abandonment of our church. Maybe that’s the real cancer here. Maybe the devil never intended to really hurt my family with a physical cancer, for this spiritual cancer is certainly causing plenty of hurt and loss all on its own.   

So that’s where we are at, but we continue to choose hope.  Only God can remove this hurt and heal our hearts, just as He’s the only one that can shrink the physical cancer in Chad’s body. Praying that He directs us in the way He wants us to go.