I felt the need to post this otherwise it would be lost in a box somewhere. It is the eulogy that I delivered at Carol's memorial with some additions.

Carol was a wonderful woman. Easy to talk to, a friend to so many, she was somewhat flexible which for an Aguilar is an unusual quality! She was forgiving, intuitive, loyal, and a hard worker.

She didn't like to see people suffer. If you were not feeling well you received the best treatment and care in the world. I recall that one time I was under the weather for a couple of days but with Carol's care, it was like a spa. The treatment and service were so wonderful that I remember thinking; I'm feeling better but this treatment is so great maybe I should fake it for another day!

Carol liked things to be right. Especially relationships. She knew that the most important relationship was between a person and God so she was constantly praying for people. She had a long prayer list and was diligent and sincere in her calling on God.

I think that perhaps she was born with this need to make things right. She told me a story of when she was 8 or 9 years old her older brother Mick had his rock and roll band rehearsing at their home in the den. Carol and her friend went in to listen. With 4 or 5 teenage boys in the den, it became rather stuffy and didn't smell very good. So Carol went and got a can of air freshener, came back to the door and opened the little mail slot, and emptied the whole can of air freshener into the room. Problem solved!  Things were right again. On another occasion, Carol had volunteered to go with our daughter Sonia and her 4th-grade class to the Dana Point tide pools. The class was near the breakwater and there were some feral cats that had kittens. Seagulls were trying to grab the kittens and the class and other moms looked on as the inevitable was about to occur. Not Carol, she sprang into action and chased the birds off.

Carol and I met on a setup. Not a blind date. We were set up by my younger brother Jim and his friend Pierre. They thought that Carol and I should meet. We had plans to go to a Christian concert and they said; hey this girl Carol wants to go. So OK, no problem- I was driving and we stop to pick her up. They go to the door to get her and then they run back to the car, hop in the back seat leaving the front door open for Carol. Then they start snickering and whispering. Carol was embarrassed, I was embarrassed & put off. So we drive away. Carol hasn't said anything, I haven't said anything. It was just an odd moment. Then we come to a stop and Carol looks over at me and puts her hand out and says in her smooth voice, "Hi I'm Carol".  I'm like....ohhhh hi ! There was definitely a spark there!

A year later we started dating. She was working as an operator at PacBell and I was going to school by day and working at a pizza place at night. I distinctly remember one Sunday night I came over after work. Carol had been at a woman's retreat all weekend. We were at her parent's house and she came downstairs and was just full of contentment, warmth, peace, and confidence all wrapped up in her beauty and femininity. Incredibly wonderful and attractive. I thought; this woman is definite marriage material and I fell in love. So in my prayers, I started lobbying the Lord. Hey Lord- I want to marry this girl. what do you think ? Do I have the green light ? When should I ask her ? She is the one !

So on July 27th, 1980 at the age of 22, I proposed marriage to 20-year-old Carol Aguilar. You want to get married ?  Carol's initial response was; " I have to think about it". She did say yes and we got married 11 months later on June 27th, 1981.

Like so many, our marriage had its stuff. But it never festered. Carol wanted things right and was always quick to make up.

Carol had a fun sense of humor that was impromptu. She didn't tell many jokes or like to be put on the spot but her humor would come out with great timing and was often unexpected. One time we were visiting our friends the Meltons in Montana and we decided to go trout fishing. They took us to a small stream with beautiful pools. As we were getting set up I said to Carol; "Fish in this pool and I will fish in this other one". So I go over to this pool and start fishing and immediately start getting bites. I say to Carol; "Babe I'm already getting bites !" And I look over at her as she is taking a trout off of her line and putting it into her creel she says in a patronizing voice; "that's good honey".

We enjoyed teasing each other but not in a put-down way. I must admit that I felt sorry for the house plants that Carol bought. They were doomed. Being a typical American male I would occasionally pull the "hey Carol did I tell you that I'm going to do this or that today ?" She would reply; "No I don't recall you telling me that". I would say "well I gotta do it and I gotta get going and I love you so much !" Her reply, "OK, I like you too" 

A couple of years after our wedding we had our daughter Sonia. I remember bringing Carol and Sonia home from the hospital and thinking, this is what I have always wanted. I have a family now. And Carol made family life incredibly wonderful. She was a natural mother and what she didn't know she would ask her mom or my mom for input.

One day in April of 1984 Carol says to me; "Bob it is time to buy a house". I'm like; "Ah yeah... we need to save more money for the down payment". She says "well I made an appointment with a realtor to go look at houses". When? I asked. Saturday at 10:00 AM she says. I'm like; "Saturday ! Saturday is when I play basketball. That's my personal exercise time. That is how I stay in shape. Why did you do that ?" Carol says "really Bob ?  we're going". So we meet with a realtor at his office and he sits us down and lectures us for 45 minutes on the benefits of owning real-estate. I whisper to Carol, "I could be playing basketball- right now !" Then we go out looking at houses. He takes us to his listings which were too much money and not in locations where we wanted to live. Carol says to the realtor; "It has to be in Huntington Beach and it has to be under 100K. The realtor says; "you aren't going to find anything in HB anywhere near 100K. So we drive and look and drive and tour homes in other areas. By now it is mid-afternoon and Carol keeps repeating; "HB under 100K". The realtor was getting a bit put off. In those days they had thick listing books that contained stats and photos of the available homes. I'm driving, the realtor is in the passenger seat and Carol is in the back. I remember the realtor just kind of snapped at us; "there isn't anything in HB under 100K" and he plops the listing book in Carol's lap. Carol opens it up directly to a listing in HB and she says "oh here's one at 701 Alabama Street for 84k ! 

So we fired that realtor and got another one and we went to see the house which was unoccupied.  We went into the backyard and it was just Carol and me there and there was this quiet moment and we looked at each other and held hands and prayed. A wonderful peace from God came upon us and we knew that that house was going to be our home.
Because of Carol, we became homeowners at ages 24 and 26. I remember thinking; that just happened because of Carol, who is this woman ? !

That house became the stop-in, drop by, hang-out house for friends and family for the next 16 years. It was in downtown HB a half-mile from the beach and it really was an extension of Carol. Open, friendly, light, inviting. It was tiny but it didn't matter, everyone was welcome and Carol made it a wonderful home.

It was there that we got into a great rhythm in life and we just loved it. I would do fix-up projects on the weekends. I remember one time I said to Carol; "babe I'm doing this project on Saturday, do you want to help me ? We could to the Home Depot together and later you could make us lunch ! She says to me; "No way ! Me and Sonia are going shopping, see you later sucka !

Occasionally if you were driving away with Carol you needed to have the headrest in place because she would floor it when she took off.

So we wanted to have another child. By the way, Carol wanted three kids and I wanted five and we ended up with two. So we finally get pregnant, she has Sam and I remember thinking; this is so great, we have a boy and a girl and Sonia is twelve so we have a built-in babysitter!

I remember telling Carol: If there were more women in the world like you there would be way fewer divorces. Sometimes I would tell her; You're like Wonder Woman ! She would say " don't call me that Bob"

  I would brag about how great Carol was. In fact, one Saturday I was helping Carol's cousin Glen and his friend John install subflooring at John's home. We are working away and the conversation turns to women. Both Glen and John had recently gone through some rough patches. So I said, "you need to find a woman like Carol". So we keep working and talking. I'm like "listen, I know how to pick a good woman- someone like Carol, if you have a prospect just bring her by and I will give you the yes or no". Of course, I'm just having fun and it is getting to be late morning and I keep saying "Carol this and Carol that". Finally, Glen says, "Bobo, I don't want to hear it anymore, no more- that's it !" As soon as Glen says that there is a knock on the door. Glen goes around the corner to answer it and I hear him say "Carol?". I thought, what is Carol doing here?   I got up and went to the door and Carol is standing there with two pizzas, salad, and drinks ! I looked at Glen and I didn't say anything. I just remember thinking, what an awesome wife I have !

Her faith in Christ, her values, determination, heart of compassion, friendliness and adventurous spirit made life really enjoyable. Plus, she could cook ! She would talk with anyone. What clicked with Carol was if you were real. Possessions and things didn't mean so much or impress her. Except for jewelry. She liked bling.

Carol wasn't afraid to ask for insight, advice or help.  She loved learning. She had a great respect and honor for her mother and father.  I could go on and on..........

I'm proud of her as a friend,  a wife, and mother of our children. I can see her influence on Sonia and Sam. She overcame some rather large challenges in her life of which I can't elaborate on here. She truly enriched my life and I miss her incredibly.  It was by God's providence that our lives intersected at a young age. I have so many warm and wonderful memories of her and how she made life such a blessing!

We loved each other. We took care of each other. We needed each other. It was how it should be. I was truly blessed to have her in my life.  I'm truly thankful to God for her and the moments, days, and years that we shared!