Journal entry by Ethan Vobr —
For maybe the first and only time I know how to start a post on here.
This will be our final post on this site. Honestly, to open this computer - know what website I was going to be typing in and what subject I will be writing about brought back months of pain. Turns out I've been pretty good at swallowing and hiding emotions deep down (that's the Irish in me), but in the correct moment and correct setting, it still feels like a fresh knife in the gut still.
Our overall plan was to give everyone a shout out, but the simple fact is we've accepted that there is just too many of you; individuals, businesses, schools, and baseball teams. We hope you've all received our thank you cards. Everything you all have done helped in so many ways. We can never thank any of you enough for that.
The final updates that we are going to share with you:
1) We have finalized the headstone. We have not revealed our design and we won't until it is set above Cameron's grave. We have put a lot of attention to detail to it and hope it captures everything Cameron was to us and our family, as well as to all of you.
2) We have be invited to Sioux Falls and Minneapolis for the engraving of Cameron's name on memorial walls, involving his donation to life. To my knowledge the one in Sioux Falls will be at the Castle (where we had our stay) and we do not have a date. Minneapolis will be July 24th at the Healing Garden to which, unfortunately, we will not be able to attend, but will be open for us to visit when we are able to. Both, of which, we are tremendously grateful and honored to be apart of.
3) Not much of an update, but worth typing. We still have not heard from our female in Virginia that received Cam's kidneys, but are eager for the day we do. We have also decided to not reached out at this time. We will post any new information on Tasha's Facebook when it comes in.
4) Part of Cameron's donations that were given to us have been re-donated back to families that have needed it, suffering their own tragedies. Cameron gave his gift of life to others, it would be selfish of us to not do the same, any way we can.
5) Tasha was invited to join a pretty hard core and close to Durham group on Facebook a couple months back. Cameron (Tasha and I) were chosen for a once in a life time opportunity. We were invited to come to Durham, NC and get a full tour of Cameron Indoor at Duke University. Once COVID protocols are lifted we are packing our bags and heading east. As well, I was lucky enough to get in touch of a close contact with Coach K and was able to mail a letter his way, which he replied. Such an amazing and humble individual. I hope to meet him one day and shake his hand. I am no longer just a fan of his coaching and his team, I am a fan of him as a human.
6) Our guest bedroom has finally been opened back up. It took me until last week, but I finally got it cleaned out and ready again. This room was used for Cameron's every day things. His clothes, changing table, diapers, etc. were kept here. I had a day off and Tasha was at work, it was as good as a time to do it then there was going to be. We had shoved about everything in there from our main floor and closed the door. Emotionally, neither one of us were ready to deal with it. We still haven't used the room, but it's ready. Unfortunately, the room that would have been his is now holding everything, which remains closed. That's for the future.
7) We were asked a couple months back to use a donation and buy a tree for Cameron. Today, I finally got it done. I had no idea what I wanted to buy, and by a chance of luck, we found the Minnesota Strain Redbud. It is a pink/purple color in the spring when it blooms, turning green with heart shaped leaves, and ends with yellow color in the fall. We bought two. New trees, much like children, are in need of care; watering, nutrients, sunshine. Trees are meant to out live their planters, much like children are meant to out live their parents. I don't think we fully realized the request right away, maybe I am putting too much thought into it, but it seems like a perfect memorial item for Cam.
8) Tasha was lucky enough to be taken to Hawaii with my aunt Paula, which is where she currently is at. Honestly, that woman needed it. It's a perfect vacation for us both. She was on the fence for awhile about going. I would never want to go, I told her it's now or never and she's loving it - almost as much as I'm loving the house to myself and Bella (our golden retriever). Baseball, yardwork, and my job keep me as busy as I need to be anyway.
9) Bentley still seems to have his down days. Usually once a week that he is with us, he has a memory or sees something that reminds him of Cameron and breaks down. It's hard to blame him, the house is packed with his pictures and memories of him. Hell, I am sure all three of us have our breakdowns weekly.
I am sure there is something I've left out from late March to now, but it's the best my memory serves.
I will leave you all with one final request and I've asked it before. Cherish your kids. Cherish your time. Because one day you won't have the chance. One year ago, I was still nervous if I could even be a father, if I even wanted to be. We know so many new parents or parents having their second/third kids. Them four months were some of the greatest in my life. The last time I held a child, prior to Cameron, was my youngest brother Joey (who will be a senior in Winner this year). Since February, I've held nearly every kid I could. Just take one second, embrace what you have in your kid. Embrace the moment, embrace the opportunity.
Thank you all for everything. Thank you for following this journey. Thank you for your love and support. Thank you for the words, the acts, the unspoken moments that helped us heal. Our road to recovery doesn't end here, but we are thankful for you all that were along for the ride to this point.
"A tree with strong roots laughs at the storm."
-We hope your roots are strong in God, family, and friends - much like us, and many others, you'll be able to withstand any storm that comes your way with those three basic things.
This will be our final post on this site. Honestly, to open this computer - know what website I was going to be typing in and what subject I will be writing about brought back months of pain. Turns out I've been pretty good at swallowing and hiding emotions deep down (that's the Irish in me), but in the correct moment and correct setting, it still feels like a fresh knife in the gut still.
Our overall plan was to give everyone a shout out, but the simple fact is we've accepted that there is just too many of you; individuals, businesses, schools, and baseball teams. We hope you've all received our thank you cards. Everything you all have done helped in so many ways. We can never thank any of you enough for that.
The final updates that we are going to share with you:
1) We have finalized the headstone. We have not revealed our design and we won't until it is set above Cameron's grave. We have put a lot of attention to detail to it and hope it captures everything Cameron was to us and our family, as well as to all of you.
2) We have be invited to Sioux Falls and Minneapolis for the engraving of Cameron's name on memorial walls, involving his donation to life. To my knowledge the one in Sioux Falls will be at the Castle (where we had our stay) and we do not have a date. Minneapolis will be July 24th at the Healing Garden to which, unfortunately, we will not be able to attend, but will be open for us to visit when we are able to. Both, of which, we are tremendously grateful and honored to be apart of.
3) Not much of an update, but worth typing. We still have not heard from our female in Virginia that received Cam's kidneys, but are eager for the day we do. We have also decided to not reached out at this time. We will post any new information on Tasha's Facebook when it comes in.
4) Part of Cameron's donations that were given to us have been re-donated back to families that have needed it, suffering their own tragedies. Cameron gave his gift of life to others, it would be selfish of us to not do the same, any way we can.
5) Tasha was invited to join a pretty hard core and close to Durham group on Facebook a couple months back. Cameron (Tasha and I) were chosen for a once in a life time opportunity. We were invited to come to Durham, NC and get a full tour of Cameron Indoor at Duke University. Once COVID protocols are lifted we are packing our bags and heading east. As well, I was lucky enough to get in touch of a close contact with Coach K and was able to mail a letter his way, which he replied. Such an amazing and humble individual. I hope to meet him one day and shake his hand. I am no longer just a fan of his coaching and his team, I am a fan of him as a human.
6) Our guest bedroom has finally been opened back up. It took me until last week, but I finally got it cleaned out and ready again. This room was used for Cameron's every day things. His clothes, changing table, diapers, etc. were kept here. I had a day off and Tasha was at work, it was as good as a time to do it then there was going to be. We had shoved about everything in there from our main floor and closed the door. Emotionally, neither one of us were ready to deal with it. We still haven't used the room, but it's ready. Unfortunately, the room that would have been his is now holding everything, which remains closed. That's for the future.
7) We were asked a couple months back to use a donation and buy a tree for Cameron. Today, I finally got it done. I had no idea what I wanted to buy, and by a chance of luck, we found the Minnesota Strain Redbud. It is a pink/purple color in the spring when it blooms, turning green with heart shaped leaves, and ends with yellow color in the fall. We bought two. New trees, much like children, are in need of care; watering, nutrients, sunshine. Trees are meant to out live their planters, much like children are meant to out live their parents. I don't think we fully realized the request right away, maybe I am putting too much thought into it, but it seems like a perfect memorial item for Cam.
8) Tasha was lucky enough to be taken to Hawaii with my aunt Paula, which is where she currently is at. Honestly, that woman needed it. It's a perfect vacation for us both. She was on the fence for awhile about going. I would never want to go, I told her it's now or never and she's loving it - almost as much as I'm loving the house to myself and Bella (our golden retriever). Baseball, yardwork, and my job keep me as busy as I need to be anyway.
9) Bentley still seems to have his down days. Usually once a week that he is with us, he has a memory or sees something that reminds him of Cameron and breaks down. It's hard to blame him, the house is packed with his pictures and memories of him. Hell, I am sure all three of us have our breakdowns weekly.
I am sure there is something I've left out from late March to now, but it's the best my memory serves.
I will leave you all with one final request and I've asked it before. Cherish your kids. Cherish your time. Because one day you won't have the chance. One year ago, I was still nervous if I could even be a father, if I even wanted to be. We know so many new parents or parents having their second/third kids. Them four months were some of the greatest in my life. The last time I held a child, prior to Cameron, was my youngest brother Joey (who will be a senior in Winner this year). Since February, I've held nearly every kid I could. Just take one second, embrace what you have in your kid. Embrace the moment, embrace the opportunity.
Thank you all for everything. Thank you for following this journey. Thank you for your love and support. Thank you for the words, the acts, the unspoken moments that helped us heal. Our road to recovery doesn't end here, but we are thankful for you all that were along for the ride to this point.
"A tree with strong roots laughs at the storm."
-We hope your roots are strong in God, family, and friends - much like us, and many others, you'll be able to withstand any storm that comes your way with those three basic things.
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