The day before Chemo, I had my blood drawn and spent most of the night mentally preparing myself. I didn't sleep well and thoughts of how my life had led me to this point weighed heavily on my mind. I had always imagined I would go on a life changing Journey, but never did I imagine Chemo and radiation would be the journey I would embark on. After a week of cancelled appointments and appointment shifts due to the snow and ice, My first day of Chemo was Friday 2/19.  To say I was scared is an understatement. 

I was led into a room, more akin to a long wide hallway. Along the wall to my left was a line of recliners, each separated by a curtain for privacy.  The room was warm, and perhaps it was the personality of the nurse who led me to my chair that made it feel that way.  I believe chemo nurses have to be some of the most understanding and kind human beings from my short experience thus far. They explained the long 5-6 hour process. First, I would get my IV's. Then I would be administered anti-nausea meds and a potassium and magnesium marinade to fortify my levels since the Chemo drug, Cisplation, would eat up my reserves.

I had an IV placed in each arm. The first one for the Chemo and Anti Nausea medicine went in without much issue despite my queasiness towards needles. The second IV for the Potassium/ Magnesium Marinade not so much. The vein whisperer, so labeled by a badge on her lanyard, attempted a vein close to my wrist. My vein rolled to a side and suddenly I felt faint and hot. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I was immediately overtaken by queasiness. The nurses worked quickly to remedy the situation. They placed a cold towel on my head, gave me ice chips and elevated my feet. They assured me all the while, this happens a lot, when I expressed my embarrassment for my reaction.  They call it Fageling. After moving the Iv to the crook of my arm, I was fine and they began to administer the Drugs to prepare me for the chemo.

The anti nausea meds and marinade take about 3 hours to drip before you are even given the chemo, all in preparation of how it will affect your body.  The liquids are cold and as they enter your body you can feel a chill. I was thankful for the velvety soft Blanket my friend April had given me in a care package. I came well prepared with all the wonderful advice others before me had given me from their own experience.

On your first day, you meet your social worker. She assesses how you are feeling, your home life, your concerns and any questions you may have. My Social worker, Vivian, is a sweet older woman with lines around her eyes from years of smiling and an easy laugh. Her eyes were kind and expressive and I found It very easy and comforting to talk to her.

After Vivian left and the time ticked by, I played Pokemon and drew on my iPad.  Filling the time was helpful and I felt constructive. It helped to take my mind off the drugs pumping into my arm. Soon it was time for the Chemo and it would only take 1-2 hours. I was scared and I don't think that fear will truly dissipate. As time goes by and the chemo builds up in my body there are chances side effects will become worst and if I'm lucky I will only have mild side affects. 

Before I knew it, I was done. I felt slightly flushed, a little dizzy upon standing, but The Anti Nausea meds did wonders, and I did not feel nauseous until many hours later, once I was in the comfort of my own home. I took some zofran and soon felt better. Other side effects I have experienced are fatigue when I am usually very energetic, hot flashes, brain fog, sharp pain in my wrists and ankles, and a prickling sensation along my sides. 

Overall, it could have been a much worse experience and I will continue to hope for the best.