Journal entry by Bethany Rivera —
This is a picture of myself, my beautiful 11 year old mentally ill daughter, and my ex-husband. We took this photo the morning of March 11, 2020 at 5am shortly before my daughter, Brynlee, boarded an airplane headed for Montana, where she will spend 12 months in a therapeutic boarding school.
See that smile on her face? That’s the smile of a little girl who knows she is loved, that there is hope, and who desires the help it takes to find healing. No one wants to suffer the way she does. She’s not crazy or bad, she’s hurting.
I’ve tried hard for a long time to keep certain struggles of our family as private as possible. Not because I’m ashamed, but because most people just don’t or can’t understand. The small community we live in has many positives, but can also be ruthless. I didn’t want her labeled. I didn’t want my other children to endure ridicule or hear the gossip. So I’m putting the truth out publicly myself in hopes that there can be better understanding and less slander. Not everyone even knows Paul and I are divorced and it’s almost been a full year. It’s not ugly, it’s not ungodly, it has ZERO to do with his physical disability, but it is what it is and we are all making the best of it.
We have tried so many things to be able to help my baby girl at home, but this is where we are. It’s officially above my pay grade -both literally and figuratively- and we are doing everything we can to ensure she can access the best treatment possible. I’m both hopeful and heartbroken. I’ve fought this hard, but I know that this is the path the Lord has put us on right now. He has already shown up in mighty ways to even make it possible. The expense is substantial and my financial resources currently are laughable in comparison. Within two days of deciding this is what was needed, I had 3 of the 12 months already covered. I’ll do what it takes on my part and am believing God to provide the rest.
Her current diagnoses are DMDD, Conduct Disorder early onset, PTSD, major depressive disorder with psychotic features, anxiety, panic disorder, and sensory processing disorder. Some days it can feel overwhelming, but God is big enough to handle every bit of it and provide my family with peace right where we are. It’s sometimes messy, often ugly, but it’s our truth. If you can relate, know you’re not alone. I’m asking for your prayers, support, empathy, understanding, and kindness.
Financial Donations can be made through her GoFundMe account or directly to Gateway Freedom Ranch with a memo for the funds to go toward Brynlee’s tuition. Thank you so much for your time and support! Brynlee is a unique young lady who has a special calling on her life.
Patients and caregivers love hearing from you; add a comment to show your support.
Help Brynlee Stay Connected to Family and Friends
A $30 donation to CaringBridge powers a site like Brynlee's site for one month. Will you make a gift to help ensure that this site stays online for them and for you?
Invite friends and family to visit the site
