We made it to Minnesota! We've been home 2.5 months. This was supposed to be a 1-year-accident anniversary post, but that was August 10th, and time is flying by!  It's been really good to be home. It's also been hard. We knew coming home meant confronting this injury in a more permanent, life-altering way, as Brok and I would face all the things we were used to doing in Duluth pre-injury.

We were able to move back into our old house. This was a miracle. I only wanted to do this if Brok could walk up the stairs. He is able to do that multiple times a day. Brok still uses his chair, but is on his feet more than ever. When upstairs, he doesn't have his wheelchair, so he's only walking with his walker and arm crutches. He still fights the "tone," which is the muscle tightness that prevents him from walking easier. This is the biggest barrier to walking faster and being more steady on his feet. The way to overcome tone is train the muscles to be stronger than the tone, but it's very difficult. Not having his chair upstairs meant conditioning his body to being on his feet more than ever. He's adjusted now, and that's working.

Brok has been ordering canes online, so that feels like an exciting, upcoming new challenge! Every once in a while, I'll learn about some new skill he's doing. He started practicing picking things up off the floor. We can always use more help in that department with our family circus! There are times Brok is able to walk up the stairs carrying his arm crutch rather than using it! The other day I "caught" him walking to the curb to get the garbage bin to take back to the garage. Managing the trash was always a chore that Brok did in our house, and it's been mine these days. Seeing him walk the bin back to the house was just great, it felt like getting back to "normal." Two days ago, he started carrying dishes from the dining room back into the kitchen, while using one arm crutch!

Brok is back on the road! Being able to drive again was huge for Brok, all of a sudden he was independent again. It was a long 10 months for him having to put up with my driving.

I wanted to try to convey the depth of immense gratitude we have for our community that has been following this journey. In that very first Facebook post where we announced to the world that Brok broke his neck and was in the ICU, Brok expressed that he wanted to "wrestle with his boys again, go on walks with us, slow dance together, and be able to stand." We asked for your prayers. We have had people of all ages praying for us all over the world. Norway, China, Mexico, Canada are just a couple of the other countries.

Brok and I can dance  together now! Brok can wrestle with the boys, and does it often! And, although the definition isn't completely where we'd like Brok's walking progress to stop, he IS walking with arm crutches. Is our life still completely changed by this injury? Yes. Is Brok walking like he used to? No. But, God has still answered our prayers. How many times in our lives have prayers been answered, but not the way we were expecting? We will keep asking and praying for more healing, but we are very grateful that God has answered these prayers.

YOU get to share in our joy, because YOU invested in our lives by lifting us up in prayer, and giving to us in so many other ways. You get to share in the credit of this, and we hope you feel the ownership and joy that comes from your thoughtfulness and generosity to come along side us in this journey! Thank you.

In 2 Corinthians, Chapter 1, the apostle Paul writes to the church in Corinth: "We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."

We have felt that gracious favor granted us in a million ways. I have shared before how many people have blessed us this past year. It's been unbelievable to us. Through you, God has been faithful. We have felt "the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."

We are also incredibly grateful for how our medical expenses have been covered. Brok lived in the hospital for over 3 months. Seventeen of those days were in the ICU, and he had two extremely difficult neck surgeries. He also received outpatient treatment at the hospital in Colorado for five weeks. Then, has had physical therapy, occupational therapy and personal training off and on ever since.

At this point, the medical bills, totaling almost  half a million dollars after discounts, are paid in full. We were thankful for the substantial discounts given from both hospitals where Brok lived inpatient and was treated. There are still bills at different points of the process of getting reimbursed, or won't be covered, but God has met our needs every step of the way through this process. We have seen the "gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."

This may seem like an odd update, but I am learning about the importance in testifying to what God has done in our lives. See Psalm 34:2-3.

My PSA for you:

If you don't have one already, get a will, power of attorney and health care directive! We had that in place when Brok had his accident.  It was so much easier for me to sign for him, and take care of business without taxing him while in the ICU, or busy trying to heal in therapy. If you don't have that in place, do it! No excuses!

Lastly, buy as much long term disability insurance as you can afford. We had some in place, and God has taken care of the rest. Brok is self employed, and didn't work for a year. God has met all our needs, and many "wants" in a year where he didn't work, we had a baby, and there is a worldwide pandemic. Where there were any gaps (we never felt them), He has taken care of us through his people, the church, and our community. We have felt and seen the "gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."

We're past the 1-year anniversary, and we've moved home. Brok has started working again, and in many ways, we're going back to our new "normal" life. But, this trial isn't over for us. We are still figuring out our new reality. There are still many sad moments, and hard days. It is hard almost every day. Sometimes that's just life with three very little kids though.

On one particularly hard day, Brok shared how sad he was to have to live with this new body for the rest of his life, unless God chooses to heal him. The rest of his life sounds like a really long time to be fighting and struggling in a body that doesn't work the way he wants it to. His main outlet and joy in life has always been being active, outside. That is totally changed now. Yes, he can do adaptive things. But, right now, it's not that same. It's devastating to see someone you love so much going through that kind of pain.

We continue to wrestle in our faith with God with what we view as needs, compared to what he views as needs (because he promises he will meet our needs).

I have struggled feeling so limited at times in the things we can do as a family now compared to others. Comparison really is the thief of joy.  But, we will press on. We can trust that God KNOWS what is best. And when life still feels harder than hell, He is WITH us. He will NOT forsake us.

One year ago, so many people rallied to try to help me have a special 40th birthday while Brok was still in the hospital, and life felt the hardest. My parents, and Brok and I were able to go to a Thai restaurant that was close enough for Brok to wheel over from the hospital, and my sister had visited the weekend prior with her new baby. There was a fancy spa visit, and many beautiful gifts and notes that all made me feel so loved.

Contrast that with two days ago. I took a walk in the most splendid fall colors, had quiet time by myself on the shore of Lake Superior, lunch out with my husband, then, the had the best time sitting around the camp fire with some of my dearests girlfriends, and Brok, to celebrate 41. We laughed a lot. We ate good food, shared stories, and there was sweet prayer as well. It was a very special night. Brok was home, we were home, and Brok walked out to join us at the fire.

Two very special birthdays book-ending the hardest year of my/ our life. The blessings bring tears to my eyes. We have felt and seen the "gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."