ONE YEAR, wow.

On this day last year, early in the morning, Jen and I were sitting were sitting in a waiting room preparing to say goodbye. The prior 3 months had been a whirlwind of appointments, googling awful outcomes, sleepless nights, and lots and lots of testing. In retrospect, the next three weeks would be the hardest physical test but the worst, the not knowing, was behind me.

The pain came and went. Jen, close friends and family were amazing. I learned to work around all the new constraints and awkward feelings and got back to work. Funny enough working everyday was a blessing. It gave me daily purpose and structure which after sitting on my couch for 2.5 months was greatly needed. Co-workers were fantastic, supportive and empathetic to my uphill battle of getting back in the swing of things.

Summer arrived along with some major milestones for the family. Alyssa graduated and went off in to the world as a young adult finding her way. Sofie graduated 8th grade and started her high school journey. In ensuring I continue to march towards the goals and commitments i set out prior to surgery Sofie and I began riding dirt bikes and spending more quality Friday nights watching goofy 80s/90s movies. Similarly, I made it a focus to meet with old friends and family in my home town which in the past always seemed to never be a priority. Im so glad we fixed that. We even got out to a bucket list concert, The Red Hot Chilli Peppers!

As we transitioned to fall many activities were on the horizon. Jen and I went to Tahoe for a fun weekend. I tagged along with some friends salmon fishing on the ocean. I even went deep in the forest riding our dirtbikes with an old buddy. Im not fast but man that was fun.

Through the past year i have had 4 check ups which are no fun. Each time they use a long camera to "snake" down my air ways. While not awful, I would prefer to never have to do it again. As of today I have 4 more tests at 3 month increments to be considered in the clear. To note, I was not prepared for the level of depression, anxiety and overall stress these very minor follow-ups have given me. Each time my subconscience starts to nag at me about the "what ifs' and "be prepared for bad news". Those weeks are no fun as Im sure Jen can attest to. Either way we go and my surgeon reassures me Im fine and we move on.

As I look back at the last year, I can honestly say I have made a few specific changes in my life that will allow me to rest easier in the event something does come up and I get sick again. I can only control today and am committing to work more towards those things that were so important on those long nights before surgery. Far from perfect but committed to improvement.  Thank you to all the family, friends and coworkers over the past year. from gifts & gift cards, thoughtful texts, foods to get me through the pain, to my work team picking up my slack and allowing me to have breaks, I am so very grateful.

One year down one to go!

Brian