One (tragic, amazing, terrifying, long, short, impactful, meaningful, scary, unbelievable) year.

If there is anyone still out there, welcome back.  This will be the very last post, before archiving the site, with an update on all things Bubs.

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It's been a year. (double entendre intended).

I want to begin first by once more sharing our family's gratitude with everyone that followed along.  I'm not sure there are even enough words to express what the support, love, outreach, thoughts, prayers, cards & visits has meant to us.  Without it - I'm just not sure we could've gotten through it all.

Time is a peculiar thing.  How can it feel like this year has been the longest ever, yet went by so fast.  It's been a whole year and I can feel what I felt that day.

I think back to this day one year ago.  I had proclaimed "50 is the year of me!" - and had taken a girls trip with my besties.  It's taken me this entire time to come to terms with the guilt I felt (still feel?) about not being home.  I'm not sure when, or if, that will subside.  Along with that comes the anxiety of being away.  I spent an overnight with my girlfriends this summer at the lake, and sort of out of nowhere I had a bit of a panic attack.  It was the first time really being away from Brady since it happened - with the exception of coming home from the Nebraska rehab for prom & graduation. Suddenly I felt again like I shouldn't be there.  I work through those thoughts every day in one way or another.  I'm sure that's pretty typical, but it weighs heavy nonetheless.  But, we keep going.

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This year has been a whirlwind.  From a month in the hospital, two months at Madonna Rehabilitation in Lincoln, NE - to home in June.  

We've watched this incredible kid do some really miraculous things.  We were told he may never wake up. But he did.  We were told he may never leave his bed, until one day they had him upright. He may never walk.  And then he was taking steps.  He may never regain mobility in that right side.  Then he did.  All these things we prepared ourselves for and he just exceeded every expectation.  How is that possible?  When you think about the kind of injury he had - HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?  But here he is.

We spent the summer just recovering (and I mean all of us).  He established care with all kinds professionals - Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Speech Therapy, Mental Health Therapy.  He had a pretty eventful summer in that respect.  He started his own routines of daily walks, worksheets, memory work, life skills like light cooking & visiting with the neighbors.  Even Pickle Ball made its way in to our weekend routine at the lake! (Not mine, mind you.  I'm a complete klutz.)  He went from pages of medicines down to two a day (and completely off of seizure medications even!)

If I told you that if you were to see him today, you would have NO idea there was ever anything amiss - would you believe me?  Because, friends, that is the case.  It's beyond explanation.  Other than the fact he's as skinny as a rail, and he sometimes can't get his words out quite right, this boy has defied every odd.  Besides a gap between the weeks before the accident to late  in the hospital stay, his memory is intact.  (He struggled with short term, but that has returned nicely; he has no memory of the incident or what led up to it - thank God.)  His vision is absolutely incredible - he can still spot the most obscure things 300 yards out in a field like he used to.  Things that just seemed like stretch goals are now just "normal".   He's even working towards being able to drive again!  That said, he does have a pretty strict routine of bedtime between usually 8-9PM - he is just completely drained by the end of the day.  This is typical for brain injury recovery, so we just accommodate it and be sure we are settled in for the night by then.  The rest lends to helpful recovery, so whatever it takes.  He makes no bones about just needing to go to sleep, and doesn't try to fight it.  To me, this is a huge win because he understands it's important for brain injury recovery.

All of these incredible developments led to him being able to start school this last fall!  He started out with a single class, then home for "brain breaks"/rest, and progressively added more until he was full time at Christmas break!  He has incredible paras, teachers & staff that are helpful and patient.  I never would have believed this would be possible a year ago.  (He's even pulling solid B's - any of his former teachers reading this will know that is really something!) Collectively between school and therapists - and of course his and our agreement - the plan is to extend his schooling one additional year.  This way he won't be rushed to catch up on the coursework he missed, and take what is required.  His IEP (Individual Education Plan) accommodates his special needs and requirements, and has room for some classes that are really interesting to him.  With the extra year, he can take these and have a much better chance at success, as well as opportunity to explore what he may want to do as a career - because this incredible boy has worked so hard to ensure he has opportunities ahead! We are SO proud.

While all this has been lifechanging - probably the biggest thing outside of Bubsy's progress is that, as a family, we really reflected a lot on what we wanted life to look like for us after this monumental reality check.  We knew we always wanted to end up at our lake someday - someday much later.  Incredibly - an opportunity presented itself.  Through all the chaos, we decided we'd throw our hat in and see where it would take us.  We wanted nothing more than to focus on our boys and start to create a new version of life that fit us.  With the help of some incredible realtors & advocates, and a lovely, gracious seller, we found our forever home on the shores of Lake Elsie in Hankinson.  Now, right outside our door offers the opportunity to hunt and fish whenever we want.  We also added a new good boy to our brood, and Ozzy has a built in bestie in Archie.  We now live in a quiet little community, just outside of town and are learning to how to become locals.  This community has always been a part of our lives, as this is where our parents are from, so it's not new to us.  Yet it's fun to get to know it better during the week, not just the weekends.  Brady has gone from hundreds in his grade to...maybe 18 or so...?  He really seems to enjoy school, and of course has established routines of visiting the office!  What's really fun is that the school is K-12, so now and then he gets to see littles in the hallways, and  he enjoys that.  

Speaking of littles - another exciting development is that we are going to be *grandparents* in April!  We couldn't be more proud and thrilled that Bubs & the boys will be 'FUNCLES' (fun uncles)!  Brady has acknowledged how happy he is that he could've missed this, and is looking forward to so much fun in his new role!  Especially since Alec & Kenna Jo will be moving back to Fargo, where she'll begin her Family Practice residency.  Riley is absolutely loving his first year up at UND, while Jackson is delving in to the world of sales (and car payments.) The best part though, is that they all make strides of spending time together.  They always have been close to each other, but if "intentional" wasn't a consideration before, it definitely is now.  We are all thrilled for summer to arrive and see what our new normal will be.

We will forever be indebted to our West Fargo community - it's where we established and raised our family for 23 years, and to those that lifted us up when we were at our lowest.  We learned that our "family" was bigger than what was inside our four walls.  Grateful doesn't even describe what we feel for how everyone rallied around us and this incredible kid, and kept us afloat when it seemed impossible to breathe.

I also want to close with gratitude to our families & friends.  Without them, I truly don't know how we could've managed.  From getting me home to meeting me at an airport to holding Mike & the boys up at truly the worst day of our lives, to organizing, packing, moving, talking, Easter baskets- we have never ever been more grateful for those that love us.  Thank you.  We now share our focus & energy with my amazing sister Kathy, who is enduring the fight of her life ("Kathy Huss" on CaringBridge - it won't let me link it). Please send healing thoughts her way.

Finally - to the first responders, the trauma teams, the doctors, the surgeons, the nurses, the therapists, the aids, the cleaning staff, the counselors, the pilots - both at Fargo Sanford & Madonna in Lincoln:  You saved our boy.  In every way.  You brought him back to us and we will never, ever forget that, and will always, ALWAYS be indebted to you for that gift.

I will leave you with some photos that document the last few months, both here, and in the gallery.  

And, as fashionable with the earlier posts to this site, please take a few action items

• Love those important to you.
• Ask for help if you need it.
• Ask someone else if THEY need help.
• March recognizes these conditions - please read & see how you can make even the smallest difference
  • Brain Injury Awareness Month
  • Self-Harm Awareness Month
• ...and replaying some old hits:
  • Get a pizza & bread bites!
  • Play some Morgan Wallen!
  • Encourage your kiddos to share some candy in school & get to know those trusted adults

Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart, for allowing me to share my thoughts & feelings throughout this journey.  This little community saved me when I needed it, and was the light that shone through dark skies.  

#BubsStrong