Hello everyone, it sure has been a long time since Betsy's last update, so I figured I oughta change that. Along with Joseph Coady, I've been home in Saint Cloud watching her since Wednesday, so I'm coming at ya while it's fresh on my mind.

As far as her specific medical condition, it hasn't changed too much - there's no sign of the cancer returning, the scans are clear, etc. Any other updates on meds, prognosis, diagnosis, etc I'll have to leave to Marty.

Having said that, my mom isn't doing great to be honest. She still has her sweetness, and now and then she'll throw out a good one-liner to make us all laugh, which is wonderful. But her physical and mental condition just aren't in a good place.

Her left arm/hand have really tightened up; they're basically "frozen" into place because she's unable to move them and it would have taken a consistent physical therapy routine to constantly move them around and stretch them out. When you add that to a full time care routine, it just gets lost in the wash unfortunately - there's simply always something else that's a higher priority (making food, doing dishes, doing laundry, taking her to the toilet, keeping her company, waking up multiple times throughout the night for potty breaks, etc).

With her left arm sorta frozen into place, it makes transfers from here to there a bit tougher (usually to/from the toilet or bed for naps). Joseph Coady and I are strong enough that we're able to essentially just bear hug her, pick her up, and move her wherever she needs to be, but I realize that's not so easy for some of mom's helpers. She's also not very good at standing up, and even just standing in place holding the bar next to the toilet while you wipe her down is a huge challenge for her.

Sadly, her ability to enjoy the day-to-day life is just not great either. There's simply almost nothing that she can do alone anymore for pleasure, to pass the time. Reading, messaging friends, listening to podcasts, writing letters... Betsy just can't do any of that anymore (not one bit).

Fortunately she is still able to use Siri, and sometimes attempts a phone call (many of you have received such a call). I, too, have received some calls from Betsy, but there's often "no one there" when I answer. Her sister Trish had the AMAZING idea to see if we could configure Betsy's iPhone to automatically use speaker phone. A few google searches and some tinkering with the accessibility settings, and I think we found success! So, the next time you get a call from Bets, pick up! You'll hear her on the line, and she'll hear you right back : )

Even eating has become more of a challenge sometimes. Joe/Co made some scrambled eggs on Thursday morning, and Betsy kept on asking for some sugar and cream. When we asked why she wanted that, she would reply "I would like to put it in my oatmeal". She just wouldn't accept it when we tried to remind her that she had eggs in front of her. Needless to say, it must have been quite a frustrating experience for her, and it definitely was for us, too.

All in all, I don't think it's much of an exaggeration to say that the only things she truly seems to enjoy these days are:

(1) Spending time with friends and family and Marty, and

(2) Eating ice cream, cake, pie, candy, brownies, etc

I love my mom so much, it's hard to see her like this. Thinking about her quality of life often just produces more questions instead of answers...

"What *can* we even do to make her days more enjoyable?"

"Just how confused is she, and how does someone in her situation even experience the world (what's it like)?")

"Why am I her favorite kid, and why isn't it even close?" ; )

In other news, we are sad to see Joseph Coady moving back down to Austin, Texas next week. He's been a big help for Marty to have around, and he'll be completely unavailable now until maybe next spring again (not to mention he's a great dude, and SO much fun).

I realize this update has been a bit more melancholy, but life has highs and lows, and that's just the way it is.

The attached photo is one that Marty sent to us kids a couple weeks ago. Don't he and Betsy look so wonderful and full of life. 

One other thought for those who see Betsy or talk to her on the phone... when Betsy says something that isn't true (e.g. "we went to florida last week", "this or that thing happened", etc)... I no longer correct her at all, unless she's asking me a correction. There's really just no point, because she won't remember your correction anyway, and it might only make her feel more self-conscious and discombobulated if she's told she's "wrong" all the time. If there's a mental health professional reading this and I'm wrong, please do chime in.

Thanks for everyone's love and support. I would have written a shorter update, but I didn't have the time.

Sending my love, and Betsy's too.

Andrew