As we end this year..it's not been the year I wanted or expected..each day brings a new challenge. Sometimes it's just something as little as a smell. Or just wanting to feel her touch..
God comfort has been a blessing.. Somedays it takes all I can do ..just to find the words to pray. And in those times I just bow and let God just hold me..He says our tears are bottle up he is a God that cares so deeply for us he bottles our tears.. wow I can't even imagine..
 We going into a new year lots of changes for me. Alot of first already been alot of first. But I just get up in the morning pray and set out for what the day brings. 
I gonna keep this open for now maybe just a place where everyone can just check in on me and the boys. Beth always wanted to go out west to see the Grand canyon..we had many talks about traveling by train. I had always said I was going to take her. I got to firgure it all out but I want to take the boys and make sure her dream comes true.  Man life is short ...it's like the breath of a Buffalo on a cold morning. That quick. Don't put off telling someone you love them. We get so caught up in the world. Dont walk away before you say I love you.. as always I love you all and praying for you too..