Before the pandemic set in, I attended my favorite women's conference that my dearest friend puts on for our community through her church each year. At the end of the weekend, the speaker asked us to pray about ‘one step of obedience’ we could take in our relationship with God. I...did not like this. The phrasing weirded me out, and, frankly, that is a dangerous prayer to pray. It invites change and suffering. I do not like to change, or suffer. So it was with much grumbling that I opened my heart up to this prayer, and asked the Lord, “What can I do?” Softly, clearly, I heard the Lord ask me to have another baby. I laughed. And then the pandemic hit our area, so I figured we were off the hook. As insane as it seems to plan a baby during a global pandemic, once Al and I started thinking about having a third child, the more the idea took hold of us. What started as a hilarious suggestion grew into a deep desire. We were able to conceive our 3rd child in early October, endured 18 weeks of intense morning sickness, learned that he is BOY (I would have bet our entire savings this was a girl baby), and settled on the name Francis Benedict. St. Francis is special to both Alex and me, and we decided early on in the pregnancy that he would be a great patron for baby Pyles #3. During the initial 20 week scan, they noticed one of his ventricles in his brain is enlarged. They referred us to a level II ultrasound to double check the measurements. We were able to get that scan done on 2/8. It was during that appointment that we discovered significant abnormalities in Frank’s growth and development, specifically with his heart and brain. I opted for an amniocentesis; the results from that test confirmed what the doctors suspected. Francis has Trisomy 18, and is not expected to live long after delivery. Called, longed for, created, and joyfully loved, our little Frankie B is the sweetest step of obedience either of us have ever taken. This situation sucks. Certainly, we are suffering, and we will suffer more. There is a tendency when faced with suffering to look for the greater purpose or good that will come out of it. Why is this happening? What is the POINT? Friends, Frankie is the point. His life, however much shorter/more different than we want it to be, is the point. He is an end unto himself. He is good. And there is a great deal of grace to be found in that. We will post a GoFundMe when we have it up and running--we are certain Frankie’s care will be beyond our means, and appreciate any support you are able/willing to give. We are praying through the intercession of Bl. Solanus Casey, and will post specific prayer requests with our updates.
Thank you, everyone, for how well you have loved us, both in Frankie's life in light of his diagnosis, and in his death. I wanted to let you know that we are going to be shutting down the caringbridge site, and moving it over to a wordpress (lovingbabyfrank.wordpress.com). Please feel free to continue to share our words and reflections about this time with Frankie. One of the big sources of anguish for us as we were discerning how to steward our son's life was the unknown. There were so few stories of how this would look. While each person's experience can and will be different than ours, it brings us comfort to know that our time with baby Frank can help someone else walk a similar path.
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