Good morning All!  I look at the date of my last Caringbridge post and resist the urge to move into Guilt and Shame.  (It's been a long time since I last posted!) The old lash of Guilt and Shame no longer rules my life.  I've thankfully untied myself from that WHIPPING POST.   That madness of self flagellation no longer serves me!

Austin King was transfered home from Craig Hospital Wednesday Nite July 29th.  Somehow Craig managed to twist the insurance companies arm and secure a Private Jet to fly Austin home.   They arrived at Austins moms house safely.   Can you imagine not being or seeing home for 11 months?  I can't!  Needless to say, Austin was glad to be home.

We all flew along on cloud 9 for a few days as friends, family, school mates and loved ones came by to visit.   Later, as reality set in Austin is coming to realize that HOME is not the nirvana he imagined it to be.   

FIRST THE GOOD - THE BLESSINGS - THE JOY

*  Austin is healthy, eating well, digesting food (despite having only a fraction of a stomach), gaining weight and adjusting PHYSICALLY to home very well.

*  Austin is SAFE, ALIVE, being taken care of, HEALTHY and most importantly still with us!

*  There have been arrangements made for in home therapy which happens weekly.  Physical therapy, occupational therapy, nursing visits.  

*  Home was never a given in this situation!  So the fact that my boy was able to come home, move back into his moms house, see friends, have a birthday party, and get a start toward this NEW LIFE - is a blessing!!!

*  1st picture,  Austin's grandfather DON ROBERSON was able to come up from South Arkansas and see Austin for the first time since October 2019

*  During this whole process from September 6, 2019 to today GOD has been doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves.  I dare say, there's a reason Austin is still with us.

*  I'm still working, employed and able to maintain the insurance necessary to keep this gargantuan BOAT afloat.  I'm so very grateful for my company and my job!

CHALLENGES

*  We're in the process of securing government benefits for Austin which hopefully will open doors to some other care options.  This process is murderously slow and pretty maddening.

*  My relationship with Austin's mom is strained which creates tension and stress that I feel is unnecessary.  I'm trying to stay focused on "WHAT I CAN CONTROL" 

*  How do you eat an elephant?  "One bite at a time!"  I'm still working on getting the minimum equipment setup for my house to Host Austin for a visit and overnight.  I've gotten the ramp built, have had an electric hospital bed given me, and bought the self turning mattress.  I've yet to secure the "Program / potty / shower chair", or a lift.   I've been looking for handicap vans and truthfully am a bit discouraged.  The handicap van / accessable vehicle market is STRONG.  Those vehicles even when worn out, are very expensive.  We're up against a height restriction.  Austin's height from Bottom of chair to top of his head is about 58 inches.  Most of the reasonably priced vans don't have a large enough opening to get him into the vehicle.  FRIENDS:  Should anyone know of a reasonably priced VAN or accessable vehicle with an opening 58 inches or higher - please reach out to me.  My mobile number is 479-236-6633

*  We didn't get here overnight and we won't get all this figured out overnight. 

*  Austin is coming to grips with the state of his existance.  We were visiting Monday which was the day all of his friends and peers started their senior year of high school.  Austin was sad, and reflective while thinking of his life enduring paralysis while his buddies started school.  Austin began crying which is a pure privaledge to watch.  The fact that Austin feels safe enough to cry in front of me is a GIFT.  After a few tears I encouraged Austin to make a gratitude list and asked for 5 things.   Guess what my son is grateful for?  After listing these 5 gratitudes, his mindset and attitude changed.  GRATITUDE voiced, felt, expressed is powerful medicine.  Austin is grateful for 1) being alive   2) not being on a ventilator  3) having use of his right arm  4) being granted the gift of coming home 5) having full use of his brain and faculties.    How's that for a gratitude list?  It changed my perspective for sure!!!  

OK friends.  Much love to you.  Thank you for your patience, concern, kindness, love, outreach.   It is beautiful. 

One from my journal.  Author unknown.

"Make someone smile today...... Tell them how much they mean to you.  You'll both feel better."

Blessings

Kevin King