Good evening!

Shanna and I have been thinking about where the careingbridge site goes from here. We felt like it is probably time to be done with it but there are people out there that just can't get enough of us and want more. So who knows, but this could be it. (unless Shanna reads this later and determines this is no way to end it 😊 )

Thanks to everyone that has followed along this crazy journey. We could not have done this without all of the support from family, friends, friends of friends, and heck even from people we don't know. It has been amazing and we are forever greatful.

I thought a lot about this next part on whether I should write/tell it directly to Shanna or if I should write it here. When it came down to it I figured that we have given you all a VIP pass to our personal lives the past 7 months so here it goes. We all know this past 7 months doesn't happen without Shanna and I meeting in the first place (and no Mindy I am not explaining it to Harvey). Sixteen years and a few days ago Shanna and I got married. When you get married you say a whole bunch of stuff in your vows and I think everyone has their own thougths on what they mean. One thing that I am not sure that people put a whole lot of thought into is "for better or worse". Everyone loves the "better" - making babies, celebrating milestones, yada yada yada (maybe the making babies part is the yada yada yada, I don't know). But is anyone ever getting married and think, what is the "worse"? I know I certainly didn't or at least I didn't know the extent of it. Shanna and I have helped each other through some difficult times in the past (maybe her needing to take her state boards a couple or so times (sorry for bringing it up) or me deciding I was not cut out for a career in law enforcement and making the decision to go back to school) but I never in my wildest dreams thought the "worse" could be something like the past 7 months. Where am I going with this? I don't think either of us could have made it through these past 7 months without each other. Maybe we could have but certainly we are better together than either one of us trying to get through it on our own (actually I think she probably could do it on her own and I am pretty sure I could not). When people want to know how I am getting through this it is my faith and having Shanna there to lean on. Withouth those two I would be lost. I could go on and on but I think that gets my point across.

Next

A lot of people ask me "how are you doing?". I normally say something like "good" sometimes I might even throw out a "fantastic". Other times I will say something like "pretty good all things considered". Whatever the response it is a short way of saying "I am not sure we have enough time to go into this right now" 😊 . Actually a majority of the time I am doing just fine. Sometimes I actually feel like I am doing to fine and then I feel guilty for feeling to fine and then don't feel as fine (does that make sense?). Then again, I don't want people to not ask because they are afraid that it is going to remind me. Trust me, there is nothing you can say to me that is reminding me because she is never not in my mind (and that will never change). Our house is like a shrine to Audrey (this is not new it has been that way for the past 10 years). There aren't many walls that you can look at and not see a picture of her (that's not going to change). There aren't many rooms you can go in and not see some presents of her. We have her bedroom, her toyroom, the spare bedroom that turned into her 2nd bedroom after Sam the hamster moved into her bedroom. We have a giant table full of all of her lego friends in the basement and it goes on and on. I'm not sure where we begin. I have to imagine that there is a certain amount of time that people get weirded out when they come over and you still have her bedroom setup just the way she left it. Then again I am not sure how you go about turning that room into something else. I am guessing that time will help with that but who knows for sure. One thing that helps get me through all of this is that I know that if or when or however that works she is looking down on me that it would bother her more than anything if she knew that her not being here was stopping us from living our lives.