I just wanted to take a minute and provide an update on where we stand now that we've had some time to process the last couple of weeks, as well as meet with a few of Atticus' doctors.  All in all, the last two weeks have gone really well in terms of feeling good and exhibiting no further symptoms from that one episode on March 12th. Anxiety for Atticus has leveled off (same with mine) and we've begun to feel as though we are right back where we started: living normally. 

On Thursday we met with Atticus' neurosurgeon extraordinaire, Dr. Dewan.  Atticus' doctor is incredibly knowledgable and has a way of communicating his expertise in such a way that I can understand and follow ...while at the same time, I listen with such intent and awe at this miracle worker in front of me. He truly is extraordinary. There was a lot of talk about brain anatomy and the impact of Atticus' lesion in terms of where it is located and what it impacts: sensory and motor function. This is exactly why his symptoms presented themselves in numbness and tingling, as well as difficulty speaking. We were told that there is a likelihood that this will bleed again....but it may be minor enough that Atticus does not have any symptoms and we merely catch it on the next scan to see that it has grown. There is a small potential for the bleed to grow and create seizures, but our hope is that we would be deeply monitoring it by this point and catch it before this ever developed.  The reason Dewan is not immediately recommending surgery is because of the location of the lesion, exactly what we were told in the hospital.  The potential for permanent damage from another bleed or as a result from the tender location of the surgery, runs about the same.  I asked him that if we found ourselves with no other option but to do the surgery, can he even do it? Without hesitation (and with a tinge of his notable confidence coming through), he said directly: Yes. I can do it.

At this point, we feel comfortable with our decision to hold tight for now and monitor via scans for the time being. Between his oncology and neurosurgery team, we have so many eyes following him.  We feel assured that if it comes to it, Atticus' doctor can handle this challenge and I trust him wholeheartedly to do so. The last thing Dewan told us was that he truly believes Atticus is going to be ok....and to go live life! That felt like a really positive sign-off to an otherwise heavy meeting.

April 1st is the date we honor as Atticus' "cancer-free anniversary" date.  I don't know what we're going to do to celebrate his TWO YEARS being cancer-free on Monday, but as Dr. Dewan instructed, we're going to live life and celebrate our warrior and all he has accomplished! If you see Atticus out and about that day, give him a high five. He deserves it :)

Atticus' next scan is already scheduled for June 3rd. I will be sure to update this journal with any information we receive. 

Last, I want to take a quick minute to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the love and thoughtfulness expressed over the last two weeks. The check-ins, cards, calls, texts have meant so, so much.  My heart hasn't felt this tender in a long while and I sincerely appreciate the gentleness many of you acknowledged. You allowed me the space to share vulnerable fears and reminded me we're not alone in this. Words will never adequately describe my gratitude for the love and care for our entire family.  

Happy Easter to everyone and much love to you all.

Love,

Maria xo