My name is Ashley Ingels I am a mother of two and a birth mother of one who's story I would like to share with you today. I was 25 years old a struggling mother of two fighting my own demons in the form of a drug addiction when I found out I was pregnant with my third child. I was scared, I felt hopeless, and most of all a failure to all 3 children. I knew I wasn't able to add a child to my chaos that I called life but I wasn't sure what exactly I could do to make the situation okay. I knew abortion was not at all an option and thats when i started to think about the option of adoption. I was about 3 months pregnant when I decided to Google adoption agencies near me...and I found American adoptions. I then contacted the adoption agency and got connected with my adoption specialist Brittany, who made me feel as if everything was going to be okay and we started discussing the whole process. I was even more scared at that point than i was when i found out i was pregnant. Could i actually handle the adoption emotionally? What would other people think? My family? So i started with my family some were supportive some were not but I still felt as if i was doing what was best for the baby boy growing inside of me. I was about 6 months pregnant when I found his family, Doug and Vickie. I knew they were the ones because I watched the video they had posted telling all about themselves and I cried. I wasn't crying from sadness or pain, i was crying because at that point I felt like I was giving this baby boy, their baby boy, life for them. When we finally got in contact that feeling became fact for me. They were supportive understanding and so loving. I had decided to name my baby phoenix kash, because like a phoenix he too shall rise from the ashes. On Oct. 5th  I went to NKC hospital for what I thought was an anxiety attack..i was 38 weeks pregnant. When i arrived to the hospital I had a heart rate of 189bpm also known as SVT I got a shot to stop my heart completely for just a few seconds to get it back into a normal rythem that evening they were watching me so closely i had a nurse with me at all times. The following morning I had an echocardiogram which is basically a sonogram of the heart. I remember sleeping through it because I was just so tired. I awoke to my obgyn informing me that I had cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure and I had an ejection fraction of 18%. The day after I got the news of my diagnosis I was delivering baby phoenix in the CICU at st. Lukes plaza hospital with Vickie right there with me. Baby phoenix aka Elijah or EJ is now 2 months old and due to being an open adoption I still get to keep up with him doug and Vickie and he is such a happy baby. Some days are easier than others when it comes to coping with the fact that he isnt with me but at the end of the day i know i made the best decision I could for him and my other children. I am now sober and have been since Oct 5 2019. I am asking for assistance because I am unable to return to work due to my condition and I am unable to keep my head above water as far as bills and medical expenses go. Thank you and God bless.