Another year has come and gone. It is officially my 2nd injury anniversary (or my "burst-iversary" as my sisters have coined it 😂). It feels like both forever ago and a blink, but a lot of life has happened in this past year! 

The Good

Finishing up the school year last May and entering into summer of 2023 felt like taking one deep breath. I had been so eager to return home and dive right back into our life after my injury and stay at Craig Hospital. To be honest, I think I was just aimlessly grasping for any sense of stability and normalcy that I could. I didn't give myself the time to truly digest everything that I'd been through or the time to deal with all the changes that I would face. So, it was nice to get through the school year. We kept summertime fairly lowkey and relaxed for our little family, and it felt like I could breathe again. 

In August, I started a new position at school - technology integrationist. Although 4th grade will always have my heart, I was ready to try something new after eleven years in the classroom and a life-changing spinal cord injury 🙃. I am beyond grateful for the opportunity as it seems to be a great fit. I have a wonderful mentor, encouraging tech team, and supportive colleagues. I get to work with all learners junior kindergarten through 5th grade each week. I enjoy the daily problem solving, collaboration, professional learning, and the relationships I have built with so many students this year. 

The Bad

Physically, this year has been challenging. I am using my wheelchair all the time. That's a tough reality, but one that will hopefully motivate me to continue working on building my strength. I still do PT once a week but will begin twice a week as we get closer to summer. I am able to walk short distances with the support of a walker. It is just slow, tiring, and feels very unstable. 

Aside from muscle weakness, there are other issues I deal with each day. My legs feel numb & tingly all the time (like they are asleep 24/7). My feet and ankles are the worst which does add to the challenge of walking and standing balance. My feet are also hypersensitive - my lower body reacts to touch with a hop or a jolt. I also experience occasional muscle spasms in my lower back and legs. My upper back has taken the brunt of compensating for my lower body weakness. And of course there is the fun bowel/bladder stuff. 

Although the physical ups and downs have been...frustrating, the main reason I've had physical setbacks is because my body was focused on something more important: growing a tiny human 🥰. 

The Beautiful

We welcomed Theodore Fitzgerald Schorzmann right before Thanksgiving. He is the perfect addition to our family. We are all so in love. Della adores her baby brother. We are so incredibly blessed that I was able to have a healthy pregnancy, a smooth delivery, and a healthy baby. 

Life with two has been eventful especially since Theo was born the second day of Adam's basketball season! Della and I enjoyed quite a few basketball games, and his team had a very successful year; ending with a runner-up finish at the state tournament. 

We continue to have a wonderful village of help and support - special shoutout is necessary for my parents and my in-laws for all the grandparent help with Theo & Della. 

I recently heard someone say - appearing to always have it all together can be an even heavier load to carry. And it has stuck with me. I definitely don't always have it all together; even when it appears that way. I still grieve the physical changes and the moments I lose out on. I still curse the challenges and when the day just isn't going my way. I really struggle with the burden I put on others (especially Adam). I still hope and pray for change and continued improvement, but I have so much love and happiness in my life which has only been magnified in these past two years. 

❤️ ~ Ashley