Greetings to Everyone, 

This will be my final post on this website as the day of Ann's memorial in Connecticut is near. The service will be on Sunday, August 13th at 11:00am at the Dean Cemetery, Cemetery Road, Canterbury, CT. After that service I will memorialize this site. 

I wanted to update you on my own journey through this grieving process. Last week I would have said that I am doing better. But better is always a relative term when grieving. This week I am a mess as I prepare for the trip and another goodbye.  Also, it will be 9 months on August 9th. 

But I have done better over the past months. It was four months before I could even think about a tiny step forward. Before that it was just survival. I have very foggy memories of those months. I know I functioned as there are so many legal and financial things that I obviously completed. Toward the end of March, I made my first halting step forward by going to the Pride events here. I spent most of the time crying but did visit several booths set up for the event thinking of maybe something new I could get involved with. That day the church that I am now attending was there and reaching out to all.  It has been a great blessing. 

I also returned to AlAnon in June as there is no place better to deal with accepting what I absolutely cannot change and the feelings of powerlessness. Also feeling close to Ann as we attended many meetings and conferences and met wonderful people over the years in AA and AlAnon.

I was finally able to join a grief support group in June.  For that I am thankful to Trustbridge, Ann's hospice agency for their gentle, but persistent follow up and offers of help. The group has been surprisingly helpful to a jaded social worker like me. 

Thanks to each of you who have joined me on this journey if only for a brief moment. For those who sent cards that I have read again and can now remember. For those who called and called and listened and listened to my uncontrollable crying and outpouring of grief in the early months. For those who texted/emailed letting me know they were thinking of me. For those who visited from out of town and helped distract me if only for a while. For those whom I visited either locally or away and again allowed me to talk, cry, and frequently melt down and then run or fly home. 

Finally, a little Ann Miller advice for your day. Don't postpone joy, don' let the sun set on your anger and let those you love to know that in both word and deed.

Love, Pat