Journal entry by Ann Buckingham —
Part 5:
Where are my folks you may ask?
My mother had me through an arranged marriage of sorts. Her story is unique, and more to come on that later. The hope my grandmother had for my mother was she shouldn't have children due to the struggles she faced from implications from birth. My maternal grandmother and grandfather ended up with my mother and I moving back in with them when I was 3 months old. My biological father was a bit of a lost soul, who had struggles, and was completely out of the picture my entire life, and has since passed away.
My grandmother realized I was the greatest gift to my mother, with continual training from as soon as I could process information, I was taught adult, world life lessons because grandma needed to make sure my mother was cared for when my grandma no longer could be there to help my mother.
I learned to manage moms bills, do grocery shopping, cook, clean and even do repairs for things (which I learned from grandpa). Speaking of grandpa, he was my hero and for a while filled the important role of father to me. However, grandfather struggled with having a daughter that had special needs, and it was tense in the house.
My grandma found a solution for mom to live on her own, within walking distance of a job she could hold down, and I went to visit on weekends and help her out, with those somewhat challenging, confusing or overwhelming adult tasks.
I'll never forget being at the grocery store (QFC) at Northgate mall, helping to getting groceries, and the visual stares from people as my mother couldn't figure out how to hand over the correct bills to pay for groceries to the checker. So the checker was trying to help mom sort the wad of bills she pulled from her wallet, but then suddenly my mom proceeded to have a back spasm, which caused to her have a convulsion and let a cry out. Imagine being 8 years old and learning how CRUEL people can be to others as they snickered and stared at something physical happening to my mom.
My mother had about as happy a life as she could, she ended up passing away when I was 28. My grandmother followed her a few years later, when I was 32 after spending her remaining years following mom's death in a nursing home. My grandfather passed prior to both of them after spending 8 years in a nursing home with alzheimers disease, when I was 19.
2020 has been rough for everyone, and in perspective we are lucky to have our lives. The battle has been non-stop, as I am sure most everyone has had the same overwhelming feeling
Patients and caregivers love hearing from you; add a comment to show your support.
Help Ann Stay Connected to Family and Friends
A $25 donation to CaringBridge powers a site like Ann's for two weeks. Will you make a gift to help ensure that this site stays online for them and for you?
