I know it’s been over a year since I’ve posted, please bear with me. A lot has happened in the last year. Mom has gone into the hospital 6 times this year for life or death conditions consistent with chemo effects and associated conditions such as blood clots, infections, her heart in afib, clots in her lungs, and chronic fractures. I haven’t been posting because most days I feel like I’m in quicksand and it’s hard to move. Depression and anxiety are a continual battle for me, but I am beyond grateful that my Moms faith carries her through. She isn’t even a little scared. She tells me constantly “I will not go one day before I am meant to, so I will live my life in the meantime”. Her cancer antigen numbers are like a ping pong ball from month to month, bouncing 10-20 points at a time and back again. Her overall health is doing better and she is more mobile, but the cancer is still spreading. Unstoppable. Insidious. It is beginning to spread to her internal organs and we are trying to keep her as healthy as possible and spend as much time as we can with her. From experience with losing loved ones to cancer, my brothers and I know that it doesn’t matter how much time you spend with someone, it never feels like enough. We spend our time watching movies, playing board games, and practicing interior design. They are memories I will always treasure.