Sarah’s Story

Site created on March 5, 2019

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Journal entry by Sarah Bruder

Hello my dearest family! You have all become so close to us. I have deeply missed updating you about our precious sweet, sweet boy. My heart aches as I write to you this last time. Our sons death was incredibly unexpected and everything I feared during our hospital stay. The very short story, because it is too hard to relive, is that he coded on the table. It was utterly tragic. Amos came to this earth too early and he left too early. He entered on a neonatal code call and left on a neonatal code call. Our room number was announced to the whole hospital. No parent should ever have to be the ones to call their child’s time of death. Seeing the doctors face and being approached hearing, “He’s not responding to our intervention” is truly unimaginable. We are not sure why it got as bad as it did and can only hope the autopsy will bring us answers in a few months. 
Until then we do know for certain he is pain free and gallavanting peacefully in Heaven. We have to believe God has big big plans for our Mighty boy and is so proud of how he impacted and influenced so many here on earth. He was one special child. 
After his passing all his nurses, doctors, NNPs, secretaries, respiratory therapists and even our amazing talented surgeon, from a different hospital, came in to hold him and say goodbye. His impact was far greater than the four walls of his room 4517, this we are certain. He started quite the ministry. 
I’m am ever grateful for all the good times we had and the “normal” baby things we were able to do. I’m so appreciative he was able to breast and bottle feed. He loved bath time so much we were doing it almost every two days as a big boy, which is expensive with all his medical leads, but we convinced them! I’m grateful for all the stories we read and songs we sang. For the moments we sat in silence and watched the storms rain down over the mountains. I’m grateful he had tummy time and was learning to roll over. I’m grateful I was able to take him for stroller walks and show him off to literally the whole hospital. Thank goodness we took family photos. Thank goodness his daddy made sacrifices to allow me to be there everyday. Thank goodness his daddy commuted and came so often to visit. I’m very happy he got to go outside and especially to the chapel.
 The thing I’m most grateful for though is that I baptized him early on and then covered him in holy water at the chapel on our stroller ride Wednesday at before surgery. Thank God for mommy intuition. 

Saying Jake and I will miss him so terribly much is an understatement. 

Many of you have shared how you have followed our journey and that means the world to us. We couldn’t have done it without the outpouring of love we felt from near and far. I looked forward each day to updating you. Sharing the great news and hopefully making you smile. And then sharing my pain because frankly it was too much to handle alone. I knew when I poured my heart into this blog each of you would lift me up and help me keep my strength. By doing this you all helped me love on that little boy as much and often as I could. You helped ease my pain and see the postive amidst all the heartache. Your support continued to keep me hopeful and most importantly strengthened my faith. So for this I say thank you. 
I reach out to you one last time for your boundless love and help. 
I have started a GoFundMe page to honor Amos’ memory. You can get to it through CaringBridge in the ways to help section. It reads;
My dear Amos family. I reach out to you one last time for support. Jake and I have decided we would like to honor Amos by making a donation to the Ronald McDonald House in Denver. Our family would like to have a positive impact on others going through tough times with child illness. We would like to keep Amos’ ministry of Mighty love and pure joy alive. The Ronald house kept us close to Amos, maximized our time with him and saved us on the tough days. This journey would have been unbearable commuting everyday.
In full transparency we will pay off Amos’ medical bills first and then make the donation. We are not hoping too much will be left over, bill wise, after his secondary insurance Medicaid is filed. However, we do know Amos fought for a really, really, really long time and is our Mighty Multi Million dollar baby. 
We respect and appreciate all of the help you have provided our family these past grueling months but ask one more time for support. You see I have taken a leave of absence from my job this year to care for our sweet sweet boy. I will not be returning to school this year. We are ever grateful for your continued prayers and outpouring of faith, love and support. This would be most helpful to us in these trying times. 
Let’s honor the memory of Mighty Master Amos and impact as many as we can. We would like to continue his ministry of Mighty love and pure joy. 

Amos’ funeral will be Saturday, August 17th at 9:30am at St. John the Evengelist Catholic Church in Loveland, CO. 

A reception will take place at our home. 4076 Coaldale Dr. 
Loveland, CO 80538 

All are welcome. 

Sarah, Jake & Mighty Amos 

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