I don't HAVE cancer......
I am BATTLING cancer!

2019 has been quite an experience. The last two months in particular. It feels like both yesterday and a lifetime since BBC (before breast cancer). I have always thought of myself as an old soul ....and feel this has helped me grasp the sitiation I am in. However, the life lessons I have gone through in a mere 8 or so weeks has been astonishing. Cancer changes you in a very big way. I often say to my yoga class when teaching that the things we go through either make us bitter or better. It is our choice. We can't always change things... but we CAN change how we react to these things. I never in a million years would think a cancer diagnosis could somehow be a good thing. Until I met SO many brave survivors that taught me otherwise. They are some of the most "fruitful" people I have ever met! They are patient, kind, gentle, selfless, self controlled, wise, fun, humorous, forgiving and loving people!! It is true they chose to be better.....and the light that radiates from them is beautiful!! I am going to start sharing some of these beautiful life lessons in my journal. I pray it blesses you as much as it did me. 

The first lesson I learned came  from a three time survivor just days after my diagnosis. I won't mention names but she is well known lady, mom and grandmother in Kennesaw. She is spunky and strong! She came to see me as soon as she heard the news. She wanted to share her story (I had no idea she was a three time survivor) and give me words of wisdom. The first thing out of her mouth when she saw me was "You don't have cancer". I just stared at her. Umm....in my mind I said "I kinda do". Again she exclaimed "Don't say you HAVE cancer! Then you are taking ownership of it and taking it as part of yourself. It is not. You don't HAVE cancer....you are FIGHTING cancer! The battle is in your mind. Don't claim and accept it. Fight it!! Speak words of health!!". She tapped on her forehead and said again "The battle is here". Wow. Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I never thought of it like that. These cancer cells aren't mine! They are in my body but won't stay here. I refuse to claim them. I had to stop myself multiple times from saying "I have cancer" after that. It took some time to automatically respond "I am battling breast cancer".
This woman has been by my side since then. Giving me tips and helping me with anything I need. Her survivor wisdom exudes from her. She makes me laugh when talking about things like shaving her head and losing boobs. She has been through it all....and she is amazing! This grandmother even flashed me one day in my office. Haha. Totally unexpected. Lol. She wanted to show me her new boobs and how she had gotten beautiful tatoos to cover her scars. Nothing seems to shake this woman...and it was inspiring!! If she can do it three times and come out strong.....I can do this! 

Well....that was my first lesson. I have SO many more!! I will add them one at a time here in my journal. 

Until next time.....live and love big!!