August 8th. 

 

I scheduled my LAST infusion appointment today. 4 more treatments, and 91 days from today will mark the end of active treatment. I can't even express how excited this makes me. No more massive needles, no more panic attacks on Sunday nights, no more sitting in a chair getting poison pumped into me, no more cycles of feeling like all I can do is crawl in a hole and sleep, no more wondering if I can keep doing this, no more predictable insomnia, no more body aches, fever, headaches, constipation, no more muscle relaxers, steroids, nerve blockers, water pills, extra supplements (well, technically I have to get through the week after treatment and then I'll be done, but that's just a detail, right?). Even though I'll be on hormone suppression for 5-10 years, I'll be done with infusions, with the hardest stuff.

 

I. Can't. Wait.

 

I had a really cool moment while on Maui - we hiked down a pretty intense hill to get to the Nakalele Blowhole. Coming back up was the most strenuous exercise I've done in over a year, and my muscles were quaking once I reached the top. Out of breath and exhausted, I heard God speak, 'You did it. You made it up this hill, and you beat cancer.' 

 

I've never said that I beat the cancer... I have transitioned from saying that I'm "battling" cancer to saying that I'm "No Evidence of Disease (NED) but still in active treatment." It wasn't until this moment on a hill in paradise that I was able to say, 'I beat cancer.' 

 

My precious husband captured the moment. It's not the most flattering shot, but it was one that I want to remember and share. 

 

No matter what hill you are climbing, battle you are facing, keep going. When you reach the top, the view is spectacular. I've only gotten through this by the grace of God - He has provided us with everything we needed to get to this point. Family, friends, neighbors, our online support communities, you name it. God is so good, y'all.