At 4am the morning of June 2nd, my parents and sister met at my house, ready to make the drive to Columbus Ohio for my big surgery. It was a heavy morning, knowing so much was about to change, and not having any idea how things would pan out.

Things were also a bit tricky because of covid regulations, which sucked because I was scared and wanted my family to be able to be with me throughout the process. The rule was only one visitor per patient, per day. So no switching out once youve checked someone in for the day. I chose my mom to be my +1, and tried to beg a lot of staff members to make an exception for my dad and sister. I was turned down, and tearfully hugged them goodbye. Then mom and I got escorted back to pre-op. 

I got dressed in the hospital gown, got preped for surgery, and met with each member of the surgical team. This took a while (3-4 hours) because the surgery before mine had run over. We were extra nervous after we had heard that my surgeon had already performed a massive procedure that morning, just minutes before mine. Embarassingly, I think I even offered to get him coffee in between surgerys to keep him alert. (He does not think im funny and I seriously need to stop trying.)

Back story- When I initally got the surgery scheduled, I reached out to several of my doctors asking what the protocol would be for tissue donation, to see if my tumor could be of any use to them in their research. I made arrangements to enroll my tumor into an ongoing trial at Ohio State which uses only tumor tissue. I also asked the NIH if I could donate a portion to them as well, and it was not until the morning of surgery that I got my answer. A nurse came in with more consent forms to make accomidations for the other half of my tumor to be sent to the NIH for research. Im so happy we were able to pull that off, and just in time. It helps me to know that my nightmare could be someone else's salvation, and now two different research facilities have the ability to gain something positive out of something that has been so negative, for so long. 

I thanked my nurses for getting me ready and texted Cole/my friends that it was finally time. One last tearful hug to my mom, and one last reminder to my surgeon to take pictures for me, and I was off to sleep. When I woke up, I waited in recovery for a few hours before getting moved back to pre-op. Apparently the hospital didnt have an open room for me in in-patient, so I camped out in pre-op for my entire hospital stay. 

I was shocked when I arrived back at pre-op, to see both my sister and my mom waiting for me.  Apparently they allowed you to have two visitors once you make it to post-op. They asked me how I felt, which was pretty much nothing due to the pain meds. Then my sister leaned over my bed and said a sentence ill never forget. She said, "They think they got it all." Around this time, my dad found the right person to tell our sob story to, and snuck his way into my tiny room to hug me and share in the good news. 

I was so surprised I made Roxie repeat herself like twenty times. Leading up to the surgery, Dr. Alexander never once let me believe there would be anything but microscopic positive margins remaining, best case scenerio. Negative margins was never spoken about as a plausible outcome. To come out of surgery and get hit with the reality that it could actually be completly gone was breathtaking. The best news of my entire life. But I couldnt quite let myself believe it. 

He also said the cancer created some suspicious blood vesses which were left behind. So there was still a chance that there could be some cancer cells remaining, we just needed to wait 10-14 more days to get the pathology results, to be sure. 

I stayed in the hospital for two nights. They were actually ready to discharge me after one, but I insisted on giving it an extra night in an attempt to get my drain removed before going home and being stuck with it for two more weeks. We did physical therapy exercises and I was walking again, just one day after surgery! Things went so much better than I ever anticipated they would. 

On the second day in the hospital, I got the drain removed and was sent home. It has been a painful recovery, but its been managable and overall such a positive experience. I wake up every day in awe that I no longer have to live with that massive tumor in my leg. I honesty cant believe its real. 

Its now been nine days since surgery and I am proud of the way my body has healed. I can feel myself getting stronger every day. I believe this decision really has/will improve my quality of life. Its hard to tell right now, but I think the pain ive been living with might actually be gone, or at least is different than it once was. 

Today is also the day I got the call regarding the pathology results. The suspicious blood vessels came back negative. He was able to get clear margins all the way around by at least 2mm!! He says it doesnt sound like much, but it is the standard, and means we are in the clear. NEGATIVE MARGINS. Im taking the deepest breath right now. 

I cant believe there is no longer any cancer in my leg. Its seriously mind-blowing and honestly, a miracle. Just a few weeks ago we were talking about AMPUTATION. I seriously cant wrap my mind around this amazing gift God has given me. So many answered prayers, and so much relief. Having negative margins significantly reduces the odds that my cancer will ever recur in that same spot. Im just so grateful and so happy. 

The only remaining cancer is now in my lungs. Dr Chen (female) has said that I have significantly less lung nodules than the average ASPS patient. She also said she doesnt forsee it effecting me for years to come. We have talked about the possibility of radiation treatment somewhere down the line,  but for now we are focusing on getting back on Atezo (expecting to start again in July) and I have a surgery follow up appointment on the 21st of June. 

Thank you so much for all of the continued well wishes and prayers. Today they are being felt more than ever. God is so good, and so are all the members of my generous and widespread village. An especially big thank you to my mom, who plays a huge part in making all the hard decisions. I certainly wouldnt have gotten this far without her. And to my surgeon, Dr. Alexander, you are a real life super hero.