Journal entry by Lindsey Cavin —
Abel continues to get better each week. We are still going to Augusta weekly for the doctors and physical therapy team to see him while we also do physical, occupational and feeding therapy in Athens.
In Augusta, they are trying to help him to also see the hospital as “fun” instead of as “scary.” In my head I‘m like good luck! He still has a negative reaction every time I tell him we need to go back. He is gradually becoming more willing to go. Truthfully, the main reason is we get to see the helicopter pad, but whatever works right? This past time I realized I was able to get off the exit ramp and make it all the way into the hospital without getting a pit in my stomach. The hospital is getting easier for me too!
The first time we returned to the hospital he walked in and saw the hospital bed in the clinic and he froze. He then pointed and said, “I am not getting in that bed!” He still continues to tell me that when we go, but each week we go it is getting easier. I am continually reminded of what they said in the hospital that this is not a sprint. This is a marathon. I still believe them.
They are trying to get him to allow them to do a plaster mold of his face for his second face mask. He will have one cloth and one silicon one and will rotate and wear one during the day and one during the night. The silicon mold is more of a facial splint. I am trying to be positive and believe them that he will allow them to do it. Their hope is that by him making his “special mask“ he will also then wear it, but in my head I’m not to optimistic. I’m also not to optimistic about actually getting him to keep it on. So far we have plastered a yoda doll’s face, but that’s as far as we’ve gotten. He has to have his face and even his mouth covered with plastered for three minutes while he breathes through his nose. If they can’t get him to do it he will have it done in the OR when he has his first laser treatment.
He has been referred to their reconstruction team. He will be receiving laser therapy around six weeks post healing. This will help with some of his itchiness under the grafts, softening the graft lines and hopefully breaking up some of the scar tissue that is developing. He still has some open wounds on his legs and some small spots on his head. He continues to have areas bubble up and blister from the donor sites. We are almost 9 weeks post surgery and I am surprised how long it is taking for the donor sites to heal.
We continue to do the scar massage and lotion at least 4 times per day. I am always trying to get to the recommendation of 6, but its hard to do it that many times with everyone else and all of his appointments too. He is tolerating me touching his face less and less. I can see the scars thickening more there and feel them on some other parts of his body getting thicker. Sometimes this can be a little discouraging. They keep stressing that we must be diligent in the first two years post surgery of continuing to move his joints and massaging the scars although after every surgery that starts the two year time line over. He also needs to be consuming a lot more calories than he has been. Abel has never been much of an eater, but he has struggled in this area since returning home. Please pray his appetite will increase!
Abel appears to be moving really well, but there are definitely some areas that are tighter and some things he doesn’t like to do. We didn’t realize all the functions our skin has and how incredible it is that God put it over our bodies to protect us!
It is such a blessing to all be together under one roof, but caring for Abel can be mentally exhausting. He is still very needy with me in particular and doesn’t want Mommy to be out of his site. I am (I only say I because at night Abel will not let Aaron soothe him currently) getting him back to sleep quicker than before when he awakes, but his first reaction is to start itching when he gets frustrated or anxious which is unfortunate because it breaks some of the wounds open particularly on his legs. I want to keep choosing joy even in the night which I find is often the most difficult time for me. One night in particular I was complaining to myself about having been woken up for the 10th time (I have reached many nights having been awoken by different kids to total somewhere in the double digits) that as I was holding Ruth the words came to mind, “I get to do this.” I get to have the blessing of a little baby. I get to help a child after they peed in the bed (this is one I do not particularly enjoy), I get to help Abel fall back asleep because he is still here with me. I am not always as grateful in my heart as I want to be, but I’m hoping by saying it I will there!
This week was the first time I had left the house to return “back to the world” except for having gone to one of our co-ops several times. We also think Abel can start to return to the outside world. While he is still tender underneath the grafts (I don’t know how long this will occurs for) and doesn’t need to do any wild man stuff he is ready. When we took him out the first time he was a little overwhelmed, but he warmed up quickly and stayed by me. In my head I have been so focused on him going out safely that I had forgotten about the response he would get from others in particular to kids around his age. I had also been so focused on myself going out and how I would respond to seeing people that I had not prepped him recently on other people’s responses. In my head I thought well maybe he won’t notice so much because he’s such a busy 3 year old boy. This was not the case. He told me he did not like them staring at him. In my own internal struggles I didn’t even notice this was happening while I was watching him because I was so occupied talking to other people. This also came as a surprised to me because I have been so in-tuned to him. I felt like I had failed him as a parent for not preparing or supporting him better. I had to offer myself grace for this especially in light of all that has happened. We have all been affected.
The sorrow that I felt hearing Abel really touched a nerve I haven’t begun to unpack yet. He was hurt and upset. A lump developed in my throat too that rises up easily now. While all the adults that see Abel comment on how good he looks the kids don’t always respond the same. I think Abel looks good, but truthfully I didn’t know what to expect. I don’t know any big burn survivors. I didn’t even see his face for over a month and I never saw his whole body until we bathed him for the first time at home almost 7 weeks after the accident. I am also still adjusting to Abel post accident. I see how far he has come and how “less scary” he looks than he did according to my 5 year old. While she acknowledged he looked scary she still came to grips quicker than others that it was still Abel.
I was caught off guard again when I was talking with the kids about Abel feeling that way when Ivy said, “It’s okay Mama, he will look the same again in a year.” We have told them Abel will change a lot over the next two years, but in her brain it meant he will go back to before. Having to correct her and inform her that Abel won’t look the way he did has just further reminded me we all still have a ways to go, especially Abel. He is going to need more time than I thought to adjust.
During this ache of sadness I realized I needed to bring this to the Lord to not only heal my heart, but especially to go with Abel as he begins to adjust. I had to call out the things I am grateful for individually so I didn’t get stuck on what wasn’t. I had realized the other night I was so grateful Abel’s eyelashes weren’t damaged. He has really beautiful eye lashes. What a blessing his eye shuts okay this came as a surprise to his surgeon. He was also surprised that the graft on the corner of eye wasn’t pulling like he expected it too. He has vision in his eye. His hair will most likely not all return, but at least he has some if he wants to have a cool haircut later on. He lost a small piece of his ear, but I am thankful his ear finally started to heal correctly after much effort to keep it from becoming flat against his head. I am praying that he will grow to become confident in his new skin and that he will allow his scars to be a testimony of God’s faithfulness in his life.
We saw some of his ICU nurses last week and they were shocked at how well he was doing. They said they
knew kids heal fast, but they didn’t expect to see him doing so well one month after leaving the hospital. This is such a testimony of your prayers.
When I close my eyes I often just keep thinking about Jesus. About his unconditional love. His patience and care for the unlovable. That this is not a surprise to Him it’s only a blip in time. That He loves Abel and our family and that we have been given so much. I am more compassionate than I was and more sensitive to those that are hurting. I still have more to grow, but I am thankful for the changes in my heart.
We are still so thankful for our community and how you all have cared for our family. The sweet 4th and 5th graders at our church had a bake sale for Abel while he was in the hospital to raise money to purchase some gifts for him. He plays with their gifts daily and I am reminded of their thoughtfulness and sacrifice every time I watch him play.
I am also daily reminded by dozens that they are praying for Abel. We are not alone. In fact I was thanking the Lord that even in some of our hardest moments I have never felt alone. This is such a huge praise because I can resort to this way of thinking easily.
We are so thankful for you all. Thank you for your prayers. I fully believe Abel has had the best outcome for the situation because so many have prayed. I also believe we have been able to suffer well with Abel because of those constantly lifting us up to the Lord. We know there is a lot more going on in the world than just Abel’s healing. Thank you. The Lord has been using this verse during this time in a new way. “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.“
Isaiah 26:3 NIV
In Augusta, they are trying to help him to also see the hospital as “fun” instead of as “scary.” In my head I‘m like good luck! He still has a negative reaction every time I tell him we need to go back. He is gradually becoming more willing to go. Truthfully, the main reason is we get to see the helicopter pad, but whatever works right? This past time I realized I was able to get off the exit ramp and make it all the way into the hospital without getting a pit in my stomach. The hospital is getting easier for me too!
The first time we returned to the hospital he walked in and saw the hospital bed in the clinic and he froze. He then pointed and said, “I am not getting in that bed!” He still continues to tell me that when we go, but each week we go it is getting easier. I am continually reminded of what they said in the hospital that this is not a sprint. This is a marathon. I still believe them.
They are trying to get him to allow them to do a plaster mold of his face for his second face mask. He will have one cloth and one silicon one and will rotate and wear one during the day and one during the night. The silicon mold is more of a facial splint. I am trying to be positive and believe them that he will allow them to do it. Their hope is that by him making his “special mask“ he will also then wear it, but in my head I’m not to optimistic. I’m also not to optimistic about actually getting him to keep it on. So far we have plastered a yoda doll’s face, but that’s as far as we’ve gotten. He has to have his face and even his mouth covered with plastered for three minutes while he breathes through his nose. If they can’t get him to do it he will have it done in the OR when he has his first laser treatment.
He has been referred to their reconstruction team. He will be receiving laser therapy around six weeks post healing. This will help with some of his itchiness under the grafts, softening the graft lines and hopefully breaking up some of the scar tissue that is developing. He still has some open wounds on his legs and some small spots on his head. He continues to have areas bubble up and blister from the donor sites. We are almost 9 weeks post surgery and I am surprised how long it is taking for the donor sites to heal.
We continue to do the scar massage and lotion at least 4 times per day. I am always trying to get to the recommendation of 6, but its hard to do it that many times with everyone else and all of his appointments too. He is tolerating me touching his face less and less. I can see the scars thickening more there and feel them on some other parts of his body getting thicker. Sometimes this can be a little discouraging. They keep stressing that we must be diligent in the first two years post surgery of continuing to move his joints and massaging the scars although after every surgery that starts the two year time line over. He also needs to be consuming a lot more calories than he has been. Abel has never been much of an eater, but he has struggled in this area since returning home. Please pray his appetite will increase!
Abel appears to be moving really well, but there are definitely some areas that are tighter and some things he doesn’t like to do. We didn’t realize all the functions our skin has and how incredible it is that God put it over our bodies to protect us!
It is such a blessing to all be together under one roof, but caring for Abel can be mentally exhausting. He is still very needy with me in particular and doesn’t want Mommy to be out of his site. I am (I only say I because at night Abel will not let Aaron soothe him currently) getting him back to sleep quicker than before when he awakes, but his first reaction is to start itching when he gets frustrated or anxious which is unfortunate because it breaks some of the wounds open particularly on his legs. I want to keep choosing joy even in the night which I find is often the most difficult time for me. One night in particular I was complaining to myself about having been woken up for the 10th time (I have reached many nights having been awoken by different kids to total somewhere in the double digits) that as I was holding Ruth the words came to mind, “I get to do this.” I get to have the blessing of a little baby. I get to help a child after they peed in the bed (this is one I do not particularly enjoy), I get to help Abel fall back asleep because he is still here with me. I am not always as grateful in my heart as I want to be, but I’m hoping by saying it I will there!
This week was the first time I had left the house to return “back to the world” except for having gone to one of our co-ops several times. We also think Abel can start to return to the outside world. While he is still tender underneath the grafts (I don’t know how long this will occurs for) and doesn’t need to do any wild man stuff he is ready. When we took him out the first time he was a little overwhelmed, but he warmed up quickly and stayed by me. In my head I have been so focused on him going out safely that I had forgotten about the response he would get from others in particular to kids around his age. I had also been so focused on myself going out and how I would respond to seeing people that I had not prepped him recently on other people’s responses. In my head I thought well maybe he won’t notice so much because he’s such a busy 3 year old boy. This was not the case. He told me he did not like them staring at him. In my own internal struggles I didn’t even notice this was happening while I was watching him because I was so occupied talking to other people. This also came as a surprised to me because I have been so in-tuned to him. I felt like I had failed him as a parent for not preparing or supporting him better. I had to offer myself grace for this especially in light of all that has happened. We have all been affected.
The sorrow that I felt hearing Abel really touched a nerve I haven’t begun to unpack yet. He was hurt and upset. A lump developed in my throat too that rises up easily now. While all the adults that see Abel comment on how good he looks the kids don’t always respond the same. I think Abel looks good, but truthfully I didn’t know what to expect. I don’t know any big burn survivors. I didn’t even see his face for over a month and I never saw his whole body until we bathed him for the first time at home almost 7 weeks after the accident. I am also still adjusting to Abel post accident. I see how far he has come and how “less scary” he looks than he did according to my 5 year old. While she acknowledged he looked scary she still came to grips quicker than others that it was still Abel.
I was caught off guard again when I was talking with the kids about Abel feeling that way when Ivy said, “It’s okay Mama, he will look the same again in a year.” We have told them Abel will change a lot over the next two years, but in her brain it meant he will go back to before. Having to correct her and inform her that Abel won’t look the way he did has just further reminded me we all still have a ways to go, especially Abel. He is going to need more time than I thought to adjust.
During this ache of sadness I realized I needed to bring this to the Lord to not only heal my heart, but especially to go with Abel as he begins to adjust. I had to call out the things I am grateful for individually so I didn’t get stuck on what wasn’t. I had realized the other night I was so grateful Abel’s eyelashes weren’t damaged. He has really beautiful eye lashes. What a blessing his eye shuts okay this came as a surprise to his surgeon. He was also surprised that the graft on the corner of eye wasn’t pulling like he expected it too. He has vision in his eye. His hair will most likely not all return, but at least he has some if he wants to have a cool haircut later on. He lost a small piece of his ear, but I am thankful his ear finally started to heal correctly after much effort to keep it from becoming flat against his head. I am praying that he will grow to become confident in his new skin and that he will allow his scars to be a testimony of God’s faithfulness in his life.
We saw some of his ICU nurses last week and they were shocked at how well he was doing. They said they
knew kids heal fast, but they didn’t expect to see him doing so well one month after leaving the hospital. This is such a testimony of your prayers.
When I close my eyes I often just keep thinking about Jesus. About his unconditional love. His patience and care for the unlovable. That this is not a surprise to Him it’s only a blip in time. That He loves Abel and our family and that we have been given so much. I am more compassionate than I was and more sensitive to those that are hurting. I still have more to grow, but I am thankful for the changes in my heart.
We are still so thankful for our community and how you all have cared for our family. The sweet 4th and 5th graders at our church had a bake sale for Abel while he was in the hospital to raise money to purchase some gifts for him. He plays with their gifts daily and I am reminded of their thoughtfulness and sacrifice every time I watch him play.
I am also daily reminded by dozens that they are praying for Abel. We are not alone. In fact I was thanking the Lord that even in some of our hardest moments I have never felt alone. This is such a huge praise because I can resort to this way of thinking easily.
We are so thankful for you all. Thank you for your prayers. I fully believe Abel has had the best outcome for the situation because so many have prayed. I also believe we have been able to suffer well with Abel because of those constantly lifting us up to the Lord. We know there is a lot more going on in the world than just Abel’s healing. Thank you. The Lord has been using this verse during this time in a new way. “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.“
Isaiah 26:3 NIV
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