9 Ways to Honor a Loved One Who Has Passed
Beth Betcher | 01.23.24
On the anniversary of losing her 16-year-old son, Zach, to cancer, Kat used her income tax refund to do random acts of kindness for strangers in her hometown. She said it made a hard day a little easier.
Below are more wonderful and heartfelt responses from other CaringBridge users. Here are their ideas on how to honor the memory of a loved one:
1. Keep something of theirs with you
Keeping an item of sentimental value is a very personal way to remember someone dear. CaringBridge families have done things like this:
“When my husband died, I had pillows made for my sons out of their Dad’s shirts, and teddy bears cut from his shirts and ties for the grandkids. I also had a pillow made for myself, using his favorite shirt. I keep it on my bed.”
Cathleen Lechowicz
“I had quilts made for my three sisters out of our Dad’s flannel shirts, each including a picture of them with Dad.”
Sharon Hovie
“My sister has the rims from her ex-boyfriend’s truck, after he was killed in a head-on collision. Every time she drives her truck, he’s with her. He was a good friend of mine, too, so I have a truck I’m building for him. Every time I drive the truck, he’s with me. That’s how we remember him.”
Kevin Amundson
2. Support a cause close to their heart, and yours
Many CaringBridge families said having an opportunity to help others is a meaningful way to commemorate their loved ones. Here are some ideas:
“Before she passed, my grand-niece came up with the idea of a ‘bunny drive’ to collect and deliver stuffed animals. The first one was in spring 2007. It continues in her sweet memory. In 2017, Sammie’s Bunny Drive collected and delivered 1,400 new stuffed animals! Her family and friends will continue this drive every year in her memory!”
Jacqueline Campbell Patton
“My grandson, Dylan, loved St. Jude. Before he earned his angel wings, Dylan requested that we raise money for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. His hope was that no other child would have to go through what he did. We do fundraisers, golf tournaments, the St. Jude gala and the Give Thanks Walk. Don’t forget to be a Partner in Hope!”
Sandy Jensen
“After losing our grandson, Tyler, our biggest project was to work toward finalizing and procuring the funds for our Kirkersville United Methodist Church in Ohio to install Carillon Bells. We live very close to our church, and many times a day I listen and sing along with the beautiful bells. And many times I shed a tear for the loss of our beloved grandson.”
William Magley
“For going on eight years, I have organized a golf outing to raise funds for cancer research.”
Sigrid Devita
“I started a scholarship in his name, to help people in his field.”
Jewel Downs
“We’re choosing to go to our local grocery store on my sister’s birthday and paying $52 towards other people’s birthday cakes. We attached a small note explaining why but remain anonymous. She would love that we are paying it forward.”
Robin Buch
3. Make a tribute donation to a nonprofit
To honor the memory of a loved one, many CaringBridge families make a tribute gift to a nonprofit that offered support at a time when it was needed most. Here are some examples:
“I donate $100 to St Jude’s every year, in memory of my sister.”
Jan Wright Gokey
“I make a donation at least once a year to CaringBridge. It was such wonderful help for our grandson, Tyler, who was in treatment for almost seven years for ewing sarcoma, a rare cancer. He passed almost 10 years ago.”
William Magley
4. Create a living reminder
So many families said that they planted a tree, flowers or an entire garden as a memorial to someone they miss. Here are just a few things that were shared:
“I had always done flower boxes for my mom for Mother’s Day. And I still do. After she died, I had a stone engraved that says, ‘Remembering Mom in her Garden.’ It helps me hold precious memories.”
Kimberly Cole
“I planted a memorial garden for my son, started with the flowers from his funeral. I adopted a highway in his honor, and helped pass a legislative bill in his name. I want my son to have a legacy, and I am happy to know his legacy will live on for years.”
Ruth Caruthers
“We plant trees in honor of our loved ones.”
Diana Skirvin Woolley
5. Dedicate an event to their memory
Bring your community together and dedicate an event to your loved one’s memory. Here’s an idea:
“I direct a community chorale group called Trinity Choir. Over 57 years, my Mom had been an officer, board member and choir member. She passed in August 2017, and we dedicated our 2018 season, featuring ‘Two Crowns,’ by Randy Vader and Jay Rouse, to her memory.”
Diana Williams Martin“I started a candle business in honor of my Rosita Bonita. She passed away August 2020 . She loved candles Witchy candles.. I’m dedicating my business candles to her.”
Irene R.
For more inspiration, these celebration of life ideas can help you honor your loved one and celebrate their life with their closest friends and family.
6. Start a new tradition
Establishing a new tradition can create a new way to honor the memory of a loved one.
“My Mom loved springtime and watching the lilacs bloom in her backyard. On the first Mother’s Day after her death we gathered at her home and each of us picked out one of our favorite recipes from Mom’s recipe file. We worked together in her kitchen each making our favorite item. We then took blankets into the backyard and had a picnic by the lilac bushes. It is a special time for all of us (daughters, daughter-in-laws, and grandchildren).”
Kris Anne
“On their birthday, release some balloons.”
Martin Grimes
Related Read: Remembering a Loved One: Words of Comfort on Death Anniversaries
7. Share their stories and photos
Keep memories alive by sharing stories and keeping photos on display, as these families have done:
“I was very close to my grandmother, until she passed in 2014. I have many photos of her in our home, and I share stories about her with my children. They remember her a little bit, but it’s just so nice to share those special stories.”
Maria Ellis
“I keep a picture in a place where I see it from my easy chair, whenever I look up.”
Carol Johnson
“I light a candle in front of their picture, in my home, since I could not be where they were when they passed.”
Teresa Horton
8. Live your best life
Some suggest aiming to live your life to its fullest as a tribute to the person you are missing:
“When I remember my Mom, I reach to be the best person I can be… knowing she would want me to be happy.”
Connie Melaik
9. Do any combination of the above
There’s no rule that says you can only memorialize someone in one way. Do whatever brings you joy. Here’s a great example:
“I have a picture of Mom and Dad in my living room, taken just after they got married in 1950. I have raised the little kitten that Dad loved so much. He is not so little now (20 pounds!) and will be 8 years old in a couple of months. I am also driving Dad’s truck, so he is with me every time I leave the house. Mom is still living in the house he built for her.”
Lucy Whithorn
What are ways you have memorialized a loved one?
We hope these 9 ideas offer some inspiration on how to honor the memory of a loved one. What are some ways you and your family and friends have paid tribute to a loved one? Leave a comment below if you’d like to share.
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Remember for Me is a website where people can post memories to honor a loved one who had dementia. I created the website as a tribute to my father who suffered from vascular dementia for ten years and my mother who cared for him.
Please visit if you’d like to post a memory to honor a loved one:
http://www.remember-for-me.com
Every year for the last 7 years I have been observing Dia de los Muertos. I create a video of my dear departed family & friends who have passed & add new ones who have passed in the previous year. The theme music I use is from the film Coco … “Remember Me “.
It is based on the logical belief that everyone dies twice; the first when we physically die & the second when our names are spoken for the last time. So with each year, I keep their memories alive by mentioning their names.
Write a memorial tribute and post it with photos to a genealogy site like Ancestry. I believe you can create a tree even if you don’t have a paid account, and some are free. It will be picked up and absorbed into other family member trees, both close and extended family. For me, this is a way of keeping the memory of people who may otherwise have been “lost” to posterity, alive.
I’ve made his portrait in honour of my beloved son who passed away last year on the 19th August I’m also writing a book to keep his beautiful memories forever for family,friends and everyone.
My dad left us in October 2019. He was a very private man, but he had so many traits, hobbies, and habits that defined him. He loved the local newspaper crossword puzzles and kept his corrected copies of them for years. I sifted through hundreds of them to locate those that landed on the birthday of each of his children and grandchildren. I will make a shadowbox for each family member using those selected crossword puzzles as wallpaper. He loved going to the movie theater and kept his stubs. I will include some of those in each shadowbox. His leather belts: I plan to have bracelets and key fobs made for each of us.
We gave his furniture to a local young couple who had lost everything. He would have much preferred that over giving it to a thrift store.
His military photo and his American flag are on display in my living room.
Hi my name is James njoroge from mariakani coast Kenya.
Last year August I lost my wife whom I loved so much,she was not just a wife but a friend and a mentor so when she died I lost the most precious person and it’s through wanting to know how I can honour her that I came the caring💕bridge and am happy now I know how.
Be blessed
Had rubber bracelets personalized to say “In Loving Memory of….”; Adopted a giant star in honor of my loved one’s interest in astronomy,; donated to a nonprofit that teaches guitar lessons to those most in need – my loved one was an incredible guitar and our biggest bond was music, he also helped others in any way he could; light luminary bags with flameless candles on the anniversary of his passing – kids created pictures and messages outside with sidewalk chalk; on his birthdays, we get together and share a “Celebrate” cake to celebrate his life and the happiness he brought.
Please don’t release balloons. This activity is very damaging to wildlife and our environment. In Virginia it is illegal.
I started a candle business in honor of my Rosita Bonita. She passed away August 2020 . She loved candles Witchy candles.. I’m dedicating my business candles to her..
We’re choosing to go to our local grocery store on my sister’s birthday and paying $52 towards other people’s birthday cakes. We attach a small note explaining why but remain anonymous. She would love we are paying it forward. We do also send up balloons. Just be sure to buy the biodegradable kind…. easily found on Amazon.
Please honor the diseased person by using their full name & nick name!!!! I see so often people say or post the word my mom, dad, good friend, child, etc. Its because that how they know them but we them. It as if poster person is looking only for sympathy and general knowledge… Let honor the person with sharing their NAME so the people can also identify with that person as their neighbor, sister, local store owner, etc and give honor to them.
The way I have memorialized my best friend was by buying a picture of the last place we vacationed at to put up in my living room. I get to see the picture everyday and think of the memories we shared of my my loved one.
thanks it sure helps
Remembering the wonderful people that made us who we are is paramount to the human connection between us all. After losing my wife to cancer in 2017, I struggled with the fact that our future grandchildren would never get to really know their grandmother. I made it my mission to change this for millions of others like me so I created a new app called “whoowe” which creates a living profile of you for future generations to engage you in virtual video chat conversation far into the future. It will give family and friends an intimate bonding experience with past loved ones that no photo album or home video can. It will be available in the app store and google play next month. Contact me at whoowe.com if you would like to be a beta tester now.
My Mom loved springtime and watching the lilacs bloom in her backyard. On the first Mother’s Day after her death we gathered at her home (which was not yet sold) and each of us picked out one of our favorite recipes from Mom’s recipe file. We worked together in her kitchen each making our favorite item. We then took blankets into the backyard and had a picnic by the lilac bushes. It is a special time for all of us (daughters, daughter-in-laws, and grandchildren).
As beautiful as they are and as touching a ceremony, please no balloons, they just pollute and end up killing animals
I want to remember my hiss and in a good way. He was killed by the police and left many real estate projects unfinished.
how do I purchase a “brick” for the garden in the cancer building?
SABAH tawau PULAU MENGGATAL .
I Lost my dad a year ago tomorrow. On his Birthday this year my mom and I lit 3 candles beside his picture. One candle for Dad one for Mom and one for me. We sat together by the candles and his picture and just told stories and shared beautiful memories. We laughed and cried but we ended up feeling a lot better. We felt his energy with us. It was so special and healing to us that tomorrow, one year of him passing, we are going to do the exact same thing. We’re also going to boil some peanuts, they were his favorite. Peace, Love and Blessings to all who have gone through the difficult journey of loosing someone you love!
Ideas to remember my dad in upcoming small town parade. He and family farmers and construction for decades. Nephew driving 2 of his tractors From tractor club. Sold antique cars and his truck so can’t drive those. Have a banner cousin made and army dress jacket
I was a very active member of Khan Academy until I got tired of it. But now, in honor of my grandma, I strive to go on every day!
As part of my current recovery. I have to check blood sugar every morning. I remember my Mom and 10 year old big brother Dale carefully testing and taking insulin shot EVERY morning for Type 1 diabetes. He endured so many health problems with diabetes. It is is his honor to do my part to keep my numbers in safe ranges.
We donor to the march of dimes and do the walk in honor of my two grandchildren that i have lose .we have done it for 8 yr that i have live in Tennessee.
I have a candle from my daughter’s favorite winery that is set on the table during family gatherings. My daughter passed away from lupus. and was sick for 15 years. There was no support for parents of a sick child, and still little support today. So after she died, I created Support Group for Parents of a Child with Lupus on Facebook.
Once a day, in private, I speak out loud the names of those people who have meant the most to me that are no longer with me. I speak each name, remember his or her face, as well as something special about that person. There are 13 people on the list at this time.
I continue to be a blood donor. I am 2 pints shy of my 65th gallon & should hit my goal somewhere close to the 6 yr anniversary of my fathers death. I also continue to exercise & raise funds for blood cancer thru the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s TeamInTraining program. One of my proudest moments is when I crossed the finish line @ the United States Marine Corps Marathon & I dedicated it to my Daddy. Ooh-Rah!!! Semper Fi!!!
Our rural community had a fund raiser for my husband with terminal brain cancer. Half was used to remodel our house for accessibility. I’ve saved the other half and donate it to others in medical need in our area…typically cancer….paying it forward in his memory.
My husbands 1 year was May 3, 2018. We were foster parents for over 35 years. My daughter contacted as many of our friends and family as she could, asking them to video them sending a white balloon with a message to him. She made 1 video of all of them, it was beautiful especially since so many live around the world, or other states. Then that night on my facebook she posted a beautiful video in memory of him. I must of watched it 100 times over. Everyone loves it and wants to participate next year.