Jun 29, 2015 Latest post:
Jul 19, 2019
This has been one heck of a month for sure! (Actually the last 12 months have been nothing short of a constant, daily practice of living in the moment and putting one foot forward in faith that it's going to all "work out") Too many life changing events to list. But this news has "hands down" been the most earth shattering to date. I'll explain..... Thursday, June 4th I show up to work to hear the news that one of my providers had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She is my age with the same ages of children as mine. I was saddened and angry. My yearly mammogram was due in January and has been on my to-do list but struggled with making the time since my life is so full with work, full-time school for LPN and family obligations. Within an hour of hearing her news, I felt the ridiculousness of not getting my mammogram since I literally work next door to the imaging center. I walked next door and got these boobies squished then posted on facebook an encouragement to others to do the same. "No excuses ladies!" On Tuesday morning June 9th, my Bryce asked if I got my results and I said I would get them when I go in to the office that day. He insisted (for some reason) that I just call and make sure its done and on my desk. I was quite annoyed with his insistence, so to quiet the voices I called in and Hope (our office MA) told me the results showed a lesion and I need to go back for more studies. Her voice was laced with a solemn concern. I ran home and grabbed Bryce and we headed straight for the office. That visit rendered a focused Mammography, then straight to ultrasound, then straight to needle biopsy which was not successful for aspirating any fluid. That means it is a solid tumor and not a fluid filled benign cyst. Bryce and I agreed to ask the radiologist to go straight to biopsy....right then, right now! 5 core samples were obtained and sent to pathology. Within 30 hours the pathologist called my office with the news that it was "Invasive high-grade /poorly differentiated adenocarcinoma". My whole world just turned upside down. Devastated. And my very first feeling was "oh my God, my children!!!". I drove aimlessly for awhile in shock and decided to stop and sit in an AA meeting for an hour to process and get quiet. I called Bryce with the news then headed off to school to act "as if nothing happened. Scheduled a family meeting and shared the news with a commitment to deal with this "one day at a time" with courage and grace. The next day, Friday June 12, The pathologist came back with the additional stains (immunohistochemistry) which identifies details of the make-up of the cancer cells...and wouldn't ya know it...they are a little unique as a "triple negative". Its complicated to explain but it means some therapies are now off the table and I have to go full boar with chemo first to treat all cells before any surgery. Its aggressive and fast growing. Silver Lining you ask?.......It was caught early and still would not have been caught had I not had the 3D Mammography. You still cannot detect the tumor with standard mammogram imaging. Please get your mammogram with 3D machines!!!! I have been in appts and diagnostics non-stop since then. My chest xray is clear, My lymph nodes do not appear to be involved yet (thank GOD) and I am waiting for genetic testing results which will determined which type of surgery to have after the 4-6 months of chemo. Had I had the mammogram on time in January, it may not have shown up yet and I would have been full of cancer by next January. Timing was everything here. If there is gratitude to be had here.....It's early and not too late. I went to Las Vegas this last week to support my daughter in her swimsuit pageant. What an awesome experience and chance to be just a normal, doting Mom for a few days and get a nice tan. But the minute my flight landed, reality set in as I was off to OHSU for a second opinion and looking for some other options. There are NO OTHER OPTIONS for this cancer. Its fast and agressive...BUT SO AM I! Anyone who knows me would probably agree. But I am human and experience the same emotions of fear and anger and can slide into a nice little pity-party if not careful. This is where my friends and family can help.....to kick me in the butt. My awesome sister started this site for me a week or so ago in preparation for information sharing. This site is intended to provide updates for all and give me an opportunity to journal the path to healing. I am ready to begin the battle. The Wonder Woman in me has gathered some courage and ready to armor up with her golden lasso, gold bracelets, magic tiara, and invisible jet. . This may not be pretty....but I have an amazing family and most amazing boyfriend who has been by my side in every way since that very first day. There is a calendar on this site where I will keep my appts posted and a place where you can also leave messages for me. Chemo days are boring as hell so I'll bring my laptop. I watched my Mom go through this with her cancer and so I am going in without any big surprises. I will draw on her strengthand experiences! My plan is to continue school for as long as I humanly can. Even if they have to wheel me in a wheelchair. Please pray for me and my family as we embark in the fight to eradicate this crap from my otherwise healthy body. I'm grateful to have nearly perfect health going in....Lets do this! Love to all of you, Becky, Bryce, Savannah, Brandon, Nylah (and all my other amazing family peeps) PS: Thank you Rachel for stepping up and taking the reigns with this site and the kids...I could not do this deal without you.
***Welcome to our CaringBridge site. We've created it to keep friends and family updated. We appreciate your support and words of hope and encouragement during this time when it matters most.