My dear friends. some of you know of the roller coaster ride I've been on the last couple of months. For those of you who don't and for the full story, here it is.
A few days before leaving on my annual trip to NY for Thanksgiving, I decided it might be a good idea to check out the abdominal pains I'd been experiencing the past couple of weeks. Kaiser advice was to go to ER because the pain was going up into my chest, and they wanted to make sure it was not my heart. EKG was fine so they started some other tests. They found blood clots in both lungs and elevated liver enzymes. After 4 days of excruciating scans - couldn't eat or drink before each so was starved over the 4 days - and finally a liver biopsy I was released having lost more than 10 lbs in less than 10 days. Ten or eleven days after that I was given a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer that had metastasized to the liver and maybe also to the lungs with a prognosis of 4 - 5 months.
Then came decisions about what treatment. - aggressive chemo that would give me all the horrors of chemo and an additional, maybe 6 more months. - gentler chemo that could make me feel better with lesser side effects. - traveling to Santa Barbara for aggressive chemo and then "side trips" to Mexico for the parts of the treatment not yet approved in US. - traveling to Switzerland, before which I would have to do so many things it would take an army of people to order and a lot of time to accomplish. - and then the Ayurvedic doctor from India... Well you get the idea. - and finally hospice care, which requires not continuing with any life saving endeavors.
During my third trip to the ER, second to receive infusions to counter dehydration - ER is an hour away - I decided on hospice. A wave of relief went through me. I knew I had made the right decision. I am now settling in at home. I called my good, good friend Wendy Walker who is now living with me as my primary care giver. I have a lot of people offering a lot of help.
I apologize if I have let you off my list. Please let friends know so they can join this site.
Please leave messages here. I will read them all, although I may not respond directly. Love, Pam(ela