Can you support CaringBridge during our Fall giving campaign? Generous donors like you ensure that CaringBridge remains ad-free, private and protected.
Trusting in God
Dec 16, 2017 Latest post:
Mar 8, 2018
I am a husband of 23 years, a father of 4 lovely children ranging from 18 to 4 years old, but this Halloween week of 2017 I found I was filled with anxiety. I was having stomach pain on my left side, to the point where I felt I should see a doctor. Normally, I would see the general doctor, but I felt I should go and see my GI doctor instead. I have been a patient with him for many years. Well, let me back the train up a few years. Through routine scans they noticed my spleen was enlarge, but nothing of significances - the doctors did not even give it a second thought. About 4 years ago my GI doctor wanted to do a biopsy of my liver to rule in or out cirrhosis. The test came back positive for cirrhosis. This surprised me because I had never drunk any alcohol in my life. The doctor told me about NASH and explained its effects on the liver. I went on a diet to help get my liver numbers back into an acceptable range. Yet, the damage was done. I lost weight and for about 4 years my liver numbers were stable. As a precaution, I had to get blood work and an ultrasound done every 6 months to keep an eye on my liver and watch for liver cancer. Now back to the present day, the GI doctor felt I should get a CT scan done of my abdomen just to check things out due to me having pain. I just had an ultrasound done in August with nothing significant to note. November 1st 2017, I had the CT test done and the doctor called back that night and told me that the CT report compared to the MRI I had done on February 20th 2017 showed some shadows and he felt I should get another MRI done to compare “apples” to “apples”. I had a MRI done on November 16th. The doctor usually calls back that night or the next day, but for whatever reason he did not. I left messages at his office, no response. So, that Friday the 17th I went to pick up the report to read it for myself because I was anxious. It showed considerable changes to my liver since the last MRI in February. The report used words like “areas of concern”, “worrisome”, 3.3 cm x 2.9 cm and so on. The following week we heard from the doctor, he felt we should see a liver specialist just to get checked out. The appointment was made for December 4th. When we arrived for the visit, we waited what seem like forever, but the doctor was reviewed the images in his office before he saw us. He said what he saw was hard to see on his computer, but wanted to take it to the Philadelphia office where he and his radiologist can review the images with the correct software. He said that the following steps would need to be taken, another CT scan - a 3 phase CT of just the liver. Then a biopsy to confirm if there is still any doubt. The doctor called the following day, December 5th, and told my wife that I did not need a biopsy that it was very clear that it was cancer. The news set us back a few paces. I lived through my daughter at the age of 8 with stage IV neuroblastoma and now is a heathy 16-year-old and active. My Dad having esophagus cancer and surgery. My mom having kidney and uterine cancer. Both are now are doing very well. Now during the same time frame my sister in the mists of treatment for breast cancer. It still shocks, it still stings. Hopeless is not what I am feeling, but heartache for the love ones that depended on me to be there for them, now I have to battle. Deuteronomy 6:5-6 says “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.” We are to love the Lord with our all. It is easy to love Him when everything is good, but when times are tough can you find yourself stilling loving God? I have and always will be “Trusting in God”.