Tara Tucker ThoughtfulTimes

First post: Jan 22, 2017
I am 40 years young😊 
I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma on December 8th, 2016.  
I will rewind a bit. I was doing a self exam in September in my shower and I felt a hard lump in my right breast. I immediately paused because it felt like something was wrong. It was pretty big and very hard. I didn't mention it to anyone. I called my Obgyn and scheduled an appointment. 
I went into my appointment and she did a breast exam. She wanted me to go for a mammogram. (My first btw. ) 

She wrote the script and I went home. I sat on that script and didn't schedule the mammogram for another month. Why? Hmmm it's like I wanted to know but I didn't. 
So fast forward. I go to the mammogram. That afternoon, I received a call from the dr stating that I needed to come in for an ultrasound, from the ultrasound I needed a biopsy, from the biopsy I received the cancer diagnosis. 
I also had an MRI. 
I was told stage 2a

When I got the call from my dr, I didn't realize that I was shaking until I hung up the call. I was very calm and quiet and my hands were shaking. I said, ok God, it's me and You. You have to take care of me.
 I was at the salon waiting on my last client. I didn't want to call my husband at work and disrupt his day and get him sad and everything. I decided to wait til we both got home. I cried...
Then I washed my face and said to myself that I need to get myself together for my client. Some would have cancelled their day, I'm sure. But my thought process was that the diagnosis was given, nothing was about to happen at that moment so life goes on. That's the practical strong part of me. I did my clients hair and cleaned the salon and went home. I think I was in shock a bit. I hadn't really wrapped my head around it all. I told my husband that evening. He cried. We held each other. I told him that God's got me and I will be fine. 
Fast forward>>>
So today is January 15th, 2017. I have started within the last 2 weeks sharing my diagnosis with my friends, family and some clients (I am a hairstylist). 
I have 3 children , I am thankful to God that they took the news well. 
My husband has been amazing. 
My surgery is on January 18, 2017. .. just a few days away.  There is so much more that I can write. I decided to start this website to update my friends and family, but also others who may have been recently diagnosed. I know that when I read others stories it is very inspiring to me. 
I am generally a positive person and perspective is everything to me.  

The salon I was in unexpectedly closed in March of 2016. My salon opened in May of 2016. My mom passed in June of 2016. Highs and lows... My dad had major surgery and my mom in law both over the Christmas holidays and was in the hospital the same time.  What a year! 
I did not want to burden them with my diagnosis. I told my husband , my cousin and my sisters in Christ and prayer partners. I wanted positive people to talk to...praying people. 
You can't talk to everyone. They don't understand.
Some think I am being punished because why would God allow it. They think what did I do? lol that's not funny but it is... I didn't do anything.
That reminds me of the story of Job. See my thinking is why not me? I don't want this dreadful disease, but I'm certainly not immune to getting it or any other hardship. There are families all over the world dealing with something tragic. I am just trusting God to help me to endure the treatments and recover well. God has given me a word that All will be well. I trust Him 100% regardless of what it looks like. I know that this process won't be pretty.  I know that I will live and not die. 
I do wonder what my day to day life will look like throughout this year. 
I will use this site to update my progress and answer questions that are asked to me, if any. 
I had many questions after my diagnosis and searched the web for answers. I wonder what will change with me and people around me. ..Cancer affects not only me but those who love me. 
Also, I don't always want to talk about what's going on, so the website makes it easy for me to share. 
Thanks for reading my story. I do enjoy writing 😊👌.
I am a strong 💪 woman and a praying 🙏 Woman. 

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