My story is pretty basic, pretty normal, and more or less just your normal American Story. Cut short by cancer.
I have done a lot, been to a lot of places, met some amazing people and tried to make it a better place, and along the way, have a little fun. Now I find my life coming to an end and knowing it is coming, has been a challenge, a blessing and an eye opening, heart opening experience. The great thing about being a human is you can almost never quite believe your days are numbered. Everyone knows they will die one day, yet most people don't think about it, because most people just drop over dead.
Those few people that are given a number of months or weeks until they die, should feel a little blessed. I know I do. I have taken care of so many questions my family would have had and paid for my own funeral, picked out everything that is to happen at my memorial service and have been saying my goodbyes for months.
I hope this page, along with Facebook and other places , (Mike'sWebSpot.com (
http://www.mikeswebspot.com/) - My personal site since 1996) not only helps friends and family have a place to meet, exchange information and read what is going on, but it also becomes a place anyone can visit to let everyone know they are still thinking about me, once the end has come. My own home page should be online for the next 5 years, or at least until 2021. That means for about 5 years after I died, folks can visit that page, look at pictures and maybe read some thoughts from years ago. I am not sure how many will remember me, and I hope no one goes overboard and does crazy things to "honor" me, or so I am "never" forgotten, or other things you see now and then. I just want to be remembered, but I also know the human condition.
Ask yourself about the last time you thought about an uncle, or a brother, or a grandfather that died years ago? When was the last time you gave them any thought, or stopped to read letters they wrote or memories they left behind? Normally within a few years of someone passing away, their "stuff" is scattered to the winds and what is left are those small items that means something to those you left behind. I know most of what I hold dear, most folks could care less about. That is the way it is with each generation that passes on.
Everything in the world is fleeting. Everyone in the world lives on borrowed time. Hopefully while watching someone meet their end with their head held high, everyone takes a deep breath, and lays down all the unnecessary bitterness of life and just takes time to see the breeze blow through the trees and thank God it is not them.
Nothing is life is worth your own happiness. I understood that a long time ago, and although I never went too far out of my way to change what I did, or how I did it, I lived a life that made me happy. If I confused those around me, or challenged what they thought was right, or wrong, I'm sorry, but not regretful.
My life has been cut short, but I had a good time and tried to help others. Hopefully when I am gone all of the bad things I ever did will be overshadowed by all the good I tried to do. No man is all good or all bad. I guess it comes down to how you are remembered that matters. I can only hope I wasn't all that bad.
I will be alive each time someone mentions my name or remembers me after I pass. I can only hope I have more time than I feel I have, and my friends and my family will be able to move past my last days and keep looking forward to when we meet again.
Just keeping the Faith and living one day at a time.
M
