As you might or might not know, our friend Tara has been struggling with debilitating depression for almost 4 years. Many of you have known her as a vibrant member of this community; someone who is abundant in her loving, healing nature and who has always offered support to those who need it, but depression has robbed her of the ability to live the life she once lived and is hoping to return to. We believe, that with some financial support, that there may finally be something that can help her available.
Tara’s depression and multiple other physical symptoms started with a severe adverse reaction to Mirena (a hormal IUD). She has exhausted conventional treatments and diagnostics and still has found no relief. Recently, she located a psychiatrist who uses alternative methods to treat severe cases of depression that have otherwise been complicated and seemingly untreatable. She has started working with this physician we are hopeful, as she has started to respond to treatment and has uncovered hormonal anomalies that can potentially be treated. Unfortunately, insurance does not cover these treatments, despite the fact that they ultimately can be lifesaving and life changing. She cannot continue to afford these visits on her own (depression has a way of creating financial hardship too), which is why we are turning back towards the community to ask for help and support. We want this dear friend and mother back to her healthy self and the next step is giving this treatment its full chance. We have a good feeling about this, and would appreciate any help you can give, no matter the amount. We will be able to use this page to keep you up to date on her progress and needs. This site has a link (WAYS TO HELP) to a GoFundMe page where you can donate. Tara herself has written a personal statement below!
A note from Tara:
I need some support. As many of you know I have been through mental and physical health hell the last few years. Healing has been challenging and often hard to find. I have recently found out about a medical treatment that shows promise in treating treatment resistant depression. Specifically 70% of individuals who’ve sought this treatment have positive results.
As difficult and vulnerable as this is feeling to write, I need help accessing what is feeling like a possible life saving option for me at this time on my healing journey. Something about the global focus on mental health these last few week, all the comments, articles and musings going around in the news and on social media startled me into the reality that I have no time to waste. So many comments and commentary focus on ending the shame of mental health issues, “asking for help”, “reaching out”...something that is feeling Herculean at this time for me. It is actually hard to breathe as I compose this.
I’ve found a facility in Johnson City, TN that works with people in my situation, but the treatment is not covered by insurance nor is it cheap. The wreckage of being in a deep depression for so long has left me with some major financial struggles. I trust if I can just get some relief from the daily torment I will be able to reconnect with the vital, motivated, bright and happy woman I was for most of my adult life. I feel I have exhausted the “traditional” mental health treatments, and the side effects were hell. I’ve contemplated and tried within my budget many “spiritual” solutions but most of those are actually more cost prohibitive...or time prohibitive at this time.
I was happy to find a psychiatrist so close that is using this cutting edge treatment. Now it is about securing the finances I need to make it happen. I would be so grateful to receive any support to cover my recommended treatments and give me the funds for follow-ups with the psychiatrist and the necessary balancing of my thyroid and hormones that I’ve recently learned are very out of wack and likely greatly contributing to my suffering.
Living each day contemplating not living is exhausting; I am alive, but not really. This is no way to live. I’m living without joy, without connection and without hope.
Last night at 3 am..awake , again I was struck by how odd and unusually but possibly brave it is to be fundraising to support mental health recovery. For REAL nothing is more counter intuitive at this point, my brain is lying to me. It is telling me I will be judged and rejected, it is telling me that I need to end it, to end the suffering of those around me affected by my depression...but yet I’ve read the comments of those who have lost loved ones to suicide just this year, I’ve been to the memorials, I’ve witnessed. I’m afraid I’m missing something. I’m afraid I’ve seemed impossible to reach out to, I’m afraid that those of you I have reached out to have been put off..not because you don’t love me but because my reflection is so dark, so heavy and you literally don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to say to myself so I understand. Holding myself has been close to impossible, it is wearing thin..so I can only imagine the impact it has had on those who love me.
So today in writing this I am taking a leap, fighting against the depression’s negative and hopeless talk. I am fighting for myself, for my two beautiful kids and for what I believe can be again a life worth living. One that serves and loves and humbly remembers God’s intention for it. Thank you and I miss you.
