It started out with a CT scan late in May which showed a very suspicious mass on my pancreas. Continuing tests at Mayo confirmed that I have pancreatic cancer which has metastasized to my liver. Life expectancy is 2-3 months.
The positives are: • I can quit worrying about getting Alzheimers. • We hired someone to help with the gardens and I don’t feel guilty. • I don’t have to put up with Trump for another 3.5 years. • I don’t have to go to any more Peterson family reunions (that’s from carl’s brother!) It’s not all bad!
Most days I still feel good. I have some abdominal discomfort but still able to get around. It’s hard for me to eat much and I have no appetite - a really change in my life - I never thought losing weight would be a negative. I don’t plan on doing chemo since it would not cure the cancer, only prolong my life. It feels very clear to me that I want to enjoy this quality time as long as I can and not spend the time with chemo. I have started with hospice and am comfortable in knowing they will help with pain, etc. in the future.
I’m not afraid of dying but I am very, very sad about leaving Carl and Toby, my precious grandchildren - Milo & Kai and Nils & Alice & Charlie - my whole family, and so many dear friends. This feels very unfair - but who ever said life was fair?
I am so grateful for a life filled with love and kindness and laughter.