When I was five years old I wanted to be a ballerina. I remember twirling and dancing and having no fear of what tomorrow would bring. I thought I was the best and had no concept of success or failure. No concept of living and dying. In fact the biggest obstacle at this age was where I put my teddy bear. Looking back at where I was at this age and to where I am today it is amazing to see what types of trials or tribulations helped mold me into the person I am. At age 12, I decided I wanted to be a doctor. It took me about 10 years to narrow this down to my field of interest and another 2 years to find the right program. It is amazing to see for the last 10 years all the hard work, dedication, and motivation that has gone into fulfilling this dream and although the term "doctor" is not one that can help me in my current situation it is one that will allow me to continue to help and resume my passion of helping children in need. If you would have ever asked me if I saw myself diagnosed with cancer at this stage of my life, I would have laughed and said no. I would have told you that you were crazy. I would have reminded you I was three months shy of graduating with my Ph.D and 3 months away from my research being published. I would have told you I had no time to get sick and age 30 was way to young to be diagnosed with a life changing illness. I would have told you I have never pictured being scared and I never pictured at this age I would perhaps have to fight death. Yes. The person I am today is deffinitely not one Invisioned 10 years ago, but I am hoping this journey to healing can make me a stronger and courageous person.