Cordell Mackall Rising Above Homelessness

Hello World my name is Cordell and I've finally feel like I've reached my bottom 3 years later I have no choice but to turn to a social site for help . My situation has been going on over these last few years because I sadly became comfortable with my situation because of depression and hopelessness, I'm born and raised in Maryland and  lived there 27yrs out of my life. I moved to Raleigh NC after having two children outside of Raleigh in Clayton NC. Me and my kids mother split up and her and the kids moved farther south to Jacksonville FL with her brother. I made a conscious decision to not move back to Maryland and try to make a life here in Raleigh to be closer to my kids. I landed a job working at a waffle House, joined a homeless shelter program at the South Wilmington St center to have a guaranteed bed. I managed to adjust to my new situation however I eventually was served papers for child support court and was ordered to pay  $315 monthly, a percentage of that was taken out of each check and eventually I tried to sort out another option for a second income getting hired at a red Robin in Briar Creek which is outside of the bus line creating transportation issues leading to me not making it back into the shelter in time for check in resulting in losing my bed. SWSC second option when your not in there program is a lottery list where it shuffles your number and you get in 3-4 days out of the week, causing me to sort out places to sleep when I would get off from work. I slept under the bridge on S. Wilmington St for an entire summer dealing with different pest rats , Foxes etc. Running up looking for food that took a toll on me losing lots of sleep and started calling out from work or going into work not showering the night before sometimes and this went on from one Job until another Im 31yrs old and have a great work ethic but my living situation outside of work caused lots of issues on the job. During my gaps of nonemployment I go to the local feedings mainly a soup kitchen clothing giveaways etc. The little family that I have back in Maryland have never been a supportive family base. I feel like I'm stuck in this vicious cycle and nothing is changing. My main reasoning for taking this route asking for any kind of help is because it's been over a year since I've seen my two beautiful kids and during that time period There mother has managed to hire a attorney where she took custody of the kids and I am not allowed to see them until I hire a attorney and we go to court for visitation. My kids don't see me as a homeless person or a bad person ever when I talk to them on the phone it's always Daddy we love you we miss you when are you coming to see us. I am able to talk to them every night at 8:00 before there bedtime and this is at the same time I'm laying out cardboard on concrete slabs in parking garages or under bridges to keep my body warm from the overnight air. My life situation is being alone away from my kids for these years has caused severe depression and thoughts looking for a way out because I feel like nothing will ever change in my life or get any better, this past year my only brother back home in Maryland Rudolph M. Lost his life at the age of 32 from sickle cell anemia I feel like that took what  hope I had left in me thinking I would see my kids walk into his  homegoing service because of the circumstances of him being there uncle. I was put back on the greyhound and back to Raleigh left to grieve alone which resulted in me being admitted to Holly Hill hospital for evaluation because of thoughts I was having like maybe I can go with my brother and there will be nomore sleeping outside in 40 degree tempartures. I dont know how but I eventually started praying every night while I was admitted ended up being discharged on antidepressants and found first Baptist Church in downtown Raleigh where I been attending every Sunday and just keeping the faith when it gets dark. My goal is simply asking to get a boost that will help me get into a rooming house where rent is typically 125-150 wkly and put away some to make payments to Clint mast a attorney out of Smithfield NC where his fee is $1000 but will accept payments. Anything helps if you can't give I would appreciate  you simply sharing my story if you would like to reach me please do I feel like there's so much more I don't mind sharing with anyone who's there to listen. Thank you All and thank GoFundMe #GodBless #Change