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I want to thank you for visiting, your words of encouragement, thoughts and prayers, I can not express how helpful they are! Through it all I am blessed by you. I am blessed to be learning some lessons from our Father, lessons like how much He loves me, how to be patient, how to trust Him, that He is always good. He is showing me how He loves through His children. That He provides for us no matter the circumstances. I am learning not to fight, but rather rely on His plan, in His time. I am learning how desperately He wants each and every one of us to be close to Him, to know Him. Lessons on slowing down, focusing on things above, loving each moment, being patient in each season, are making their imprints on my heart. Through it all, it is well.
If you haven't heard my story yet allow me to give you a quick synopsis. (This part can be skipped entirely if you so wish, I wont even know!) Early in August I came down with a virus. While being seen at the ER I received a spinal tap, to which my body reacted badly. I had a leak of my CSF or spinal fluid which caused extreme strain on my brain. For 4 weeks I was unable sit, stand or walk, I also experienced extreme nausea and unbelievable pain. Four trips to the ER and one hospital stay later I was left weak, 20 pounds lighter, mentally exhausted and with very few answers. Unfortunately things got worse. I woke one morning experiencing confusion, numbness on my left side, speech and motor disruption. Even though the symptoms subsided I felt uneasy about what had happened and chose to stay with a friend. The following morning I experienced the same symptoms but amplified. A visit to the Sturgis ER concluded that what I had been a experiencing was known as a TIA or mini stroke. The next step was to figure out why. A CT scan later I found myself being whisked to Rapid City via ambulance with an "abnormality", believed at the time to be a hemorrhage, in my brain. The ride was torture, I wanted to call my mom, kiss my children, I wanted desperately to turn back the clock and feel normal again. Several hours of diagnostic testing and speaking with a Neurologist revealed that I had a substantial and extremely rare type of blood clot in my Transverse Sinus, (a vessel located in the back of the brain) along with swelling and strain from the lack of appropriate spinal fluid. As scary and difficult as it all seemed, it was actually the best possible scenario, it meant no surgery. The next seven days were spent in the hospital undergoing a regimen of blood thinners to prevent any further clotting. Because of the location other procedures that can break down or remove the clot faster have been deemed too risky. All we can do now is continue the blood thinners and wait for my miraculous body, fashioned by our remarkable God, to do the work naturally. I continue to struggle with the effects of my condition, intense pain, intermittent cognitive ineffectiveness, inability to work (Oh how I miss my job!) and merely keeping up with life at home . Some days are really great, almost like nothing is wrong. Other day's are not so great, the up's and down's are exhausting. Frequent rest helps.
Lucky for us, that is exactly what God offers. Through it all it is well. It is well because our Heavenly Father loves us fiercely. He moves mountains for our souls. He will stop at nothing to bring us closer to Him. He prepares each of us for the challenges we will face on this Earth. He assures us that we will never face an obstacle or adversary without His power strengthening us, His hand guiding us, His grace offered to us regardless of our iniquities. For all of these lessons, for all of this support, for this experience, I am grateful.
I want to end this thing with one last thank you, to each of you. The support and love I have experienced is humbling, it is powerful. In a time when I am on my knees, vulnerable and struggling, my friends, family, church family, people I haven't met, have come through in astounding ways for me. I truly believe it is a blessing to bless others, you have all most certainly blessed myself and my small family tremendously. I pray that God abundantly blesses each of you according to His knowledge of your needs and desires.