Mar 30, 2018 Latest post:
Mar 30, 2018
John Luna: Well, here we are. Everyone knows me for not being very loquacious and if I am, it means that something very sarcastic will probably be leaving my mouth and gracing your ears. A lot of life to me has been one big running joke and is my coping mechanism when faced with the challenges of life. Unfortunately, this challenge is one where I'm not in the driver's seat. It is not something that I can control; I am merely a passenger along for the ride.
On Monday, March 26th we found out that Noelle has cancer, the "big C". Every bout with it has been described as having survived it, never surmount it, never conquering it and for good reason. Cancer has never been a positive diagnosis. It's something you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy (unless you're a psychopath, then at that point I'd say you have other things to deal with). Obviously, the fear of mortality and finality comes looming at you at this point and what hurts, even more, is that I can't fix this. As someone who's used to working with 1's and 0's and is used to building and fixing things for a living, the futility not being able to do anything drives me to distraction.
But there is hope. Hope that I have in a living God and kind Father (Matt. 7). I know that God is using this to bring us closer to Him as well as bring him glory (James 1). My hope is that the worst that could happen is that Noelle will be with her True Father and will be free of the pain that is in this world.
But don't get me wrong! I'm not going Kavorkian on you. I'm hoping that she still has more years left on earth, I'm just acknowledging the fact that Noelle fate is outside of my control and in the hands of someone who will do a wayyyyyy better job than I will. I'm just here for backup. Our hope is that Noelle will spend at least some more time with her children to see them grow up. That they can create memories with her that will help them to realize the woman that I see: A woman who loves God and shows it as naturally as walking. And let's face, my laundry isn't going to fold itself, though this human may have to learn that stupid pet trick after all.