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Between 9:40 and 9:45 every night I receive a just for today meditation reading. Sometimes I read it right away, sometimes they collect in my inbox unread for a week. Lately they've been a great reminder for how far I've come and how far I still have to grow, just like my little guy that just can't wait to meet everybody. Tonight I am reminded that we all have our own paths and our own higher powers. Thankfully, mine put amazing people in my path. I have an amazing child with an amazing support group of Swifts and a new wonderfully supportive Jones clan I couldn't be more happy to have in me and my littles life. Im grateful for being able to call my mommy. To have sisters that wil be there to pick up the phone. Georgia is a long ways away, but the relationships I've gotten to build bridge the distance now. Not having family out here also makes everyone else's role so important in my life. My community of new aunts, uncles, grandpas, grandmas, surrogate moms and dads.. That weird cousin.. All my friends that I chose to call family.. Your support and love is what makes the universe a good, loving, safe place for me to thrive in with my little boys. I figured this would be a great outlet for care and concern. We are all so deeply connected to each others lives that I know how I feel for the ones I love, Liam already has that love and support. Uncertainty is the way of the universe but connection and community is the core of mine. I've been waiting for this moment for a while now. This moment where I can stop and just be two people at once. Literally. No worrying about what's going on in life.. Just me and this little blessing getting to exist in a moment I can let go and just cry. I've had time to google and wiki and prep and organize and prepare over the last few weeks. Now that I feel strong enough to take on this journey, I realize I don't have to be. I have a higher power to take care of me. He has one too. And.. My higher power is friends with your higher power.. So we're all good. I can break down and cry. Everything is going well. My new roommates collect my urine, come when I need a machine to shut up, and feed me. Haha. Pretty good setup. Plus my last nurse just told the new one I like snacks.
Anyway.. My blood pressure went down and non stress tests were good, so they just unhooked all my wires, cords, and sensors for the next two hours. I got a round of steroids to help little booger prepare for a possible early arrival. Hopefully it won't be till next week or if we're lucky, next month. Who knows what his plan is. But.. Until then I'm being taken care of. I officially live here until I don't. There are no cutoff times with visiting hours, just the being considerate rule. I can eat whatever I want. I have Netflix, step work that's been calling my name for like a year, coloring books, and Pinterest. Mason does have a birthday in a few months I gotta start planning. :) and perhaps a baby shower before Liam comes home from the nicu, when the time comes for that. I have faith everything is going to be fine.. The universe just knew I needed to slow down and threw preeclampsia and cord flow stuff in the iugr mix because he's strong enough to get through anything life throws at him, just like his big brother and his mommy.
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