I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, a military veteran and I am family and a friend to many.
I am 36 years old and I want to live.
My 8 year old son and my aging mom still need me. My family and my friends love me and want me to live.
“To live.” When people are asked what they want in life, many people will think of a particular goal they have, like owning a home, having a certain job, places they want to travel to, or something like “to be happy.” And, if there’s one thing a cancer diagnosis can do, it can help one "wake up" and see how precious it is just to be alive, to breathe, to move, and be fully present for the moment - because that is all we have, is this very moment, "to live" and do what we need to do.
So, my plan is to live as long as I can, for as long as it’s Gods will for me to push forward and keep walking this path. I can heal from this. I can learn to live with this. I can beat the odds. I just need more help.
Due to the decline in my health condition, I am no longer working in the “traditional active career path” of serving others before myself in the government.
Now, I have to work on myself, by focusing on healing the ailment I am carrying.
To recap, on November 5, 2015, I received my first Breast Cancer diagnosis. Stage 2, they said. In 2016 my medical team attempted to “nuke” the cancer cells with aggressive conventional medical treatment. I returned to work immediately and did not allow myself more time to heal. In November 2017, I received the second diagnosis. This time, Stage 4. The cancer metastasized (and spread to my bones). In 2018, with the aide of my GoFundMe account and many supporters, I made extensive attempts to heal through conventional and holistic treatments. Thankfully, this kept the cancer tumors at bay (stable, but still there).
The ugly truth behind this healing process is that it is very costly to keep up these conventional and holistic treatments. It is psychologically and physically draining because of the waves of life itself and the side effects of conventional medication.
I have to be more creative this time around. I need unconditional support. Changing my lifestyle is a process. I need change so that I can create an environment (a healthier immune system) where the cancer cannot thrive in. For me, this means healing inside and out. I need to heal my body, mind and soul. I have deep emotional and psychological wounds. I have deep physical wounds. I lived a lifestyle that was not conducive to my health.
Now, it is time for me to pause more, slow down and just live. Because no matter what, the waves of life will always flow through.
Most recently, in May 2019, I received another diagnosis. This time, the cancer tumors got angry and spread even more throughout my bones, along my entire cervical spine area, through my tail bone, hips, pelvic, ribs, and collar bone. Thankfully, the cancer did not spread to any organs. This diagnosis is daunting, but I WILL NOT give up. I REFUSE to give up. If God's plan is to let me live as long as I can (and I am still alive) then, there is another way to keep living longer.
Like I said, I have a son that I love so much that my heart grows stronger every time I think of him. Angelo has kept me focused on the importance of life. I want to guide and witness him grow to be a strong man and share his love with the universe. I have a beautiful and courageous mother that still needs me, and family and friends that I love. I want to live, for them and for me. I am fighting to live, but I realize I can’t do it alone. Or perhaps, I don't need to fight so hard anymore. Maybe part of the lesson from cancer is that I need to learn to live with more love, peace and harmony in my heart. Trust God, and let people help me.
This site is a way for me to keep everyone I know, and those that they share the site with, up to date. It’s a centralized place for people to follow my journey. And it’s a place where I can give people an opportunity to help. If you’re willing, you can be a part of my journey and support my fight to beat the odds. The healing process against cancer isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. It takes endurance. It’s a roller coaster, a tumultuous ride of ups and downs.
There are many dark days, and days filled with light and love. Which is another reason I have this site, so people can show their support by “being the light" and sharing your "light and love" with me and all others through these treacherous times. There are different ways to be supportive. Monetary donations and gift cards to Sprouts, the Grocery Outlet, Acupuncture and acupressure sessions etc. will help with the necessary, tangible things like conventional and holistic treatment. Even more - hope, belief, prayer and encouragement carries me further.
Please, feel free to select the “Ways to help” option from the links above and it will lead you to updates on ways to help me, or the “Well wishes” option if you’d like to share an inspirational or funny YouTube video, or send an encouraging post it note, or share sweet photos. On “Ways to help” you will find the link to the GoFundMe site my brother Joe previously initiated for me during my second diagnosis.
Please use this site to share something uplifting, healthy suggestions, new treatments out there (because medicine is constantly changing), a simple hello, a written letter maybe with your story of hope - all of these positive things will help. So be the light alongside my journey.
And, thank you for taking the time to hear my story.