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2/1/2017 Latest post:
On Dec 22, my husband went in to work as usual. He had been in pain for weeks. He had been to the doctor, who gave him steroids and naproxen, and told him he probably had a strained muscle. No further inquiries into the cause, no real treatment.
On Christmas Eve, his family and I finally talked him into going to the ER. We went... and the ER personnel bumbled around until he finally just said he had to get home, he refused treatment and walked out.
Christmas morning... I aggravated him enough to get him to agree to let me call an ambulance. He was admitted to the hospital with a primary diagnosis of pneumonia with possible encephalitis.
After a CT scan... the horrific reality of his situation settled onto our family like a nightmare. The scan showed multiple large lesions (tumors) in his brain... We were now aware that he was fighting for his life, and the prognosis was terrifying.
Thursday, Dec 29, the official diagnosis: stage IV extensive small-cell lung cancer. It is treatable, but not curable. My husband is a fighter, and he's fighting for all he's worth right now.
I have honestly thought at times we wouldn't make it to the next day... and the next day comes and I am surprised, pleasantly so, that not only is he still here... he's stronger. I have cried until there are no more tears. I have raged at God, and begged for his life. I have prayed, chanted mantras, and irritated and bullied him into doing things he never would have considered... and still he's here, and still he fights on.
He is an inspiration and a rock. Tough as nails, and a horrible patient. He has yelled at me, laughed at me, cried with me, and loved me... and asked forgiveness for being cross. Every day we count our blessings... Every. Single. Day. Sometimes more than once.
He told me yesterday that he truly felt loved for the first time. Not cared for, not tolerated... but loved. He didn't know how many people loved him... now he does.
Our battle is FAR from over. It has only begun. And we will continue to fight. We will continue to pray. We will continue to count our blessings and appreciate the little things as long as there is breath in our body and blood in our veins. Every day gained is a victory.