Not what anyone expected…but I guess this is happening.
One insanely busy week. A week that I am now so very VERY grateful for. All the crazy chips that are pieces of my life and the lives of those around me fell into place. I pushed too hard, running on empty, lack of sleep, I passed out…apparently I do have a limit. A concussion, a heart murmur, and a few doctors’ appointments later, we received some pretty scary news. Elizabeth, you have an Ascending Aortic Aneurysm and Aortic Valve regurgitation. A section of my Aorta that comes out of my heart and the Aortic valve in my heart need to be replaced.
I am having Open Heart Surgery, and that sucks.
On Paper, I shouldn’t be at risk for this. I’m 37, I’m not a man, I don’t have high blood pressure, I don’t have high cholesterol, I’m in very good shape, I eat very well, I don’t have a family history of heart issues. I should be fine. I’m not, but I will be.
This page was set up with everyone in mind. I’ve realized, this whole thing isn’t really just about me. I want a place where everyone can stay in the loop. I have such a tight knit large circle of family and friends and you all seriously kick ass (Sorry Dad, I said ass. It’s completely needed in that sentence though.)
People have been asking how I’m doing. I am a let’s figure it out, what are we dealt, what can I fix, what are the facts, ok let’s do this type of person. I always have been. Those who know me very well, can probably recall quite a few times were my stubborn determination took a starring role in my life. I refer to it as my “Go Mode”. That’s where I am now. There is a peace in that for me.
That is precisely why I chose the profile picture for this page. It completely represents my head and where it’s at. If you aren’t familiar with the story behind the photo of the bike, here’s a summary.
Go Mode and stubborn determination is how I taught myself to ride a bike. Much to the sadness of my parents I would only let them watch from the front window of our house. Their version of the story goes a little like this “We were not surprised when shortly after you got your first bike and Snoopy Red Baron outfit that you would then reject all offers of help and advice as you proceeded with iron will and determination to Cerecita Drive to teach yourself to ride a two wheeler. After a couple of hours of asphalt burns, blood, bruises and ripped outfit you announced to the world that you had conquered the world of bicycles!”
I know I’m going to need help in this journey, I know this isn’t as easy as riding a bike. However, I look at it the same way. My circle of peeps have been my training wheels in life. The safety net. I am going to go out and ride that two wheeler on my own again. I know just as my parents watched from the window wanting to help, waiting for the moment they could, praying and hoping that I didn’t get hurt too badly, initially that’s the role family will play again. And Just like that snoopy suit and goggles gave me a cool confidence I didn’t completely have on my own (I’m also pretty sure I thought it could make me fly), my circle, my God, my family and friends, are just like that snoopy suit, you are my cool confidence. You are a big part of how and why I function the way I do. I will carry you with me just like my snoopy suit. When I come out of this a little more bruised and battered than before I know my family/circle will be the comfort I need. I’ve already let my Doctors know I plan on being an over achiever. That I have a lot of help along the way.
My profile photo is a reminder for everyone, or maybe just for myself, that well…I got this. Maybe more like WE got this. I truly believe God has brought each of you into my life for a reason. I know that sounds cliché. The strangest part of all of this, is the peaceful clarity. I did not expect that.
This page can be whatever you need it to be. If you just want to be updated on what’s going on. If you want to offer words of support. If you want to help in some way. If you are a fierce little prayer warrior…get it my prayer warriors! If this page just serves as a reminder to love on your babies and get your freaking heart checked, GREAT!
With God's Grace and healing through the hands of an amazing team of doctors, this will be just a short blip of a kind of sucky not so fun time. Bonus, I’m going to come out of this with bionic heart parts and a pretty impressive pirate fight looking scar….yep I’ll be a bionic pirate. :)