Linda Whitmore Linda Whitmore's Hope

I am Linda Whitmore, 69 years old, saved by the grace of God through His precious Son, Jesus Christ.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008 and I had a mastectomy.  I trusted in God for every decision, chose not to do chemo or radiation.  I felt the Lord's presence through it all, had no pain, returned to work thanking God!  
May, 2016, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer.  I had a hysterectomy and was told the cancer had been removed but there was a thinning in the vaginal wall that was a potential place for cancer to return.  My oncologist strongly suggested internal radiation which they told me had less side effects than external radiation.  I was planning on going on a Mission trip to the lower Amazon in Peru in July and it didn't look as though that was in God's plan, but God's ways are perfect and I must stand on that.   I immediately started radiation treatments but after 2 treatments I was rushed to hospital with sepsis infection.  It was a very dark time - I couldn't find my Jesus even though He was there for me - He never will leave us or forsake us - again our hope lies in things not seen.  I was in ICU for 5 days and was on oxygen for a month during recuperation.  As soon as I was off the oxygen plans were made for me to move from Southern California to Texas to be near my daughter, my only living relative aside from my grandson.  How amazing is God's knowledge of the path He has prepared for us that I would be here near my daughter for the next bout of cancer.
November 15,  7 weeks ago, I started having vaginal pain and bleeding.  My new Texas oncologist, after doing pelvic exam, expected that my cancer had returned and ordered a PET Scan.  He was surprised that it had returned so soon.  My PET Scan was scheduled for January 3rd but on December 28th I was in severe pain and went to the ER in McKinney where they performed emergency bladder surgery - my bladder was full of blood clots.  The pain I experienced shook my world - "Oh Lord is this the path my cancer is going to take?" . . . . . . 
The PET Scan came back showing I had endometrial cancer and there are now only 2 available options - do nothing or have external radiation.  20% chance of remission of cancer with the radiation.  Today I am praying for God's guidance as I see the radiologist.
Yes, this wound is fresh.  But God binds our wounds.  Each thought goes from knowing my God will never leave me or forsake me to what if I can't feel His presence . . . . . ?  Yes, I am human and satan attacks our minds filling us with doubt.  Psalm 76:23 says "My flesh and heart are weak but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever".   I have to rest on the promises of God.
I am writing this so that hopefully we can share Jesus's love for us, to remind each other that our sovereign God loves us and knows exactly what we are feeling, that we can comfort each other.  Sharing comments would be so uplifting and helpful . . . . I pray that there are those out there who would come along side of me as I can come along side of you.  With God's grace we can get through this together!