How many times over the last year were you asked, “how are you doing?” Most people respond that they feel blessed/lucky and things could be worse. If we were asked this question last week, we would have said: Covid sucks, but we didn’t lose our jobs and we have had the healthiest 15 months ever, not even a runny nose.
When we make the statement “Things could be worse,” you never put much thought into it, it’s a fairly common response whether things are good or bad! As we spent our first five nights in the ICU at children's hospital, you realize how unfair life is. When you see all of the children and families in pain and suffering at this hospital, it’s daunting. Then you realize THINGS COULD BE WORSE!
My little girl Kolbi Jeanne was diagnosed with lymphoma last week; my young always positive little girl is fighting for her life, the tumor and fluid collection around her heart and lungs are making it hard for her to breathe. This does not seem possible considering she was running and playing only days before but Mature B-Cell lymphoma is very fast-moving. We have been moved to the cancer floor and Kolbi has started her first battle to stomp this disease. This battle is going to be intense for Kolbi but she has the strength to win! We will be staying in the hospital for a few weeks working through the first round of chemo and shrinking the tumor around her heart and lungs. If everything goes as planned we should be done with the war in 2022. One of the hardest parts about the regimen is that her immune system is compromised, she will not be able to go back to school until that is back to normal. This is probably the worst part and of course, she is going to lose her hair in a few weeks and that does not make Kolbi happy.
The question Bree and I asked first was, what did we do, is it our fault, was it something she ate, was it something we did? I don’t know how many times we sobbed wishing we could take all this pain and cancer away. We have come to accept that it’s not anyone’s fault but we’re thankful that there is a cure. Until you’re put in a spot where you see an innocent child suffering, you truly don’t know what pain is. Like when your child is in your arms and fighting for her life. When you finally realize that you’re having to tell your 12-year-old daughter that you understand it hurts, but it’s your only way to stay alive. When your child tells you that they understand that this is life or death, is when you know life is not fair. Kolbi is STRONG and has the will to live, she will beat this disease, she has never put her mind to something and not succeeded!
We have been overwhelmed with so much love, prayer, and offers to help. Bree and I are so appreciative of all the offers but we would ask that you take the time you are offering us and spend it with your loved ones. The only rule that I have for Kolbi and Dexter is “Have fun and be nice” nothing would make Kolbi and our family happier than you following my rule this summer! Bree has added some of her own rules, but they are not as much fun as mine!
Please keep Kolbi in your thought and prayers, and remember to have fun and be nice!