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Hi Everyone, I am happily married to an amazing man of 24 years. I have 4 kids, 2 that are naturally born and 2 adopted. I have the most beautiful grandbaby on the planet and some of the most amazing family and friends that God put on this earth. I am truly blessed with my life other then kidneys that no longer want to work. I have been a diabetic for 28 years and it has really done a lot of damage to my body. I was one of those stubborn people that wanted to live my life and not let anything stop me or tell me what I could eat and not eat. Well then life kicked my butt. I am not good at remembering dates and times. I was having trouble with my vision and I went into the eye doctor to have diabetic screening and the doctor said I had diabetic retinopathy and I would need to have laser treatments. I agreed to the treatment and my life really changed from that moment forward. The treatment started and the doctor strapped my head to a machine and did laser shots. My diabetes was so out of control my eye couldn't handle it and I developed a huge blood clot in my left eye. After 4 surgeries my eye finally died and the doctor filled it with oil so I could keep it my head. To make a long story shorter I went blind in the left eye. I was really nervous and scared to let them do anymore laser shot, but they said I needed to do the shots in the right eye to keep from going blind in it. I hate not being told the whole truth. I ended up doing 1200 laser shots in my right eye and still going totally blind in both eyes for about 4 months. I can't even tell you how much anger and uselessness I felt. I had a very active life with my husband, children and several horses and there I was a big overweight blob blind and hopeless. My family and friends were truly amazing through this time in my life and I really started my relationship with God. I had to humble myself and make some big changes. The thought of never seeing my beautiful children and the man that I pledge to spend the rest of my life with I made the changes, but I had already done a lot of damage to my body. I really could write a book on all the amazing things God has done in my life. I know that there are a lot of you that question Gods existence. I am here to tell you we serve a risen savior.. God has done so many things in my life that I can not even begin to write all the things down that have just blown me out of the water. Do I get everything I want? NO! I get what I need. If I got everything I wanted I wouldn't be sitting in this dialysis chair typing this story out with my loving and supportive husband sitting in a chair beside me. Do you want to know what a truly amazing husband and family I have. They give up their time to come sit with me for the 3 hours I have to be here hooked up to this machine 3 days a week. My hubby gets 2 days off and he refuses to stay home and let me come by myself. He tells me we are in this together. There is no doubt in my mind that if he didn't work the other 2 days he would come to them. One of my besties Karen Mason came with me for the first 2 months getting up at 5:30 in the morning to have me here by 7:00. My daughter has come after a graveyard to sit with me. Sorry I really could go on and on. Now the real reason I am on this site. After 20 plus years of being a uncontrolled diabetic my kidneys took major damage. I have had perfect control for the past 8 years and yet they were still unhappy. I got the dreaded phone from my doctor telling me that I needed to come in and see him to discuss treatment options and that I needed to set up an appointment at OHSU to look into the kidney donor list. This was a devastating call. I swore I would never let a machine tell me I was going to live or die. I went to the classes with my husband and Karen and we learned about the restrictions that OHSU had for the donor list and it took my husband and kids off the list to be even considered for donation. My doctor had me go into the hospital to have a fistula put into my arm for the preparation for dialysis. A fistula is a super vein that the machine hooks up to to process my blood. Shawn and I went to a concealed carry class put on by Dan