Kim Fabean

First post: Jul 21, 2017 Latest post: Jul 28, 2017
During the spring of 2017, I had some rather large, kind of soft (like a rubber ball) lumps in my breast.  I had a mammogram scare last year and after a negative biopsy and $1,500,  they told me that I just had dense breast tissue.  So when I felt these lumps, I figured it was just dense tissue and I didn't want to spend another $1,500 just for them to tell me that.  Big mistake that I hope none of you make.  On May 2, I finally went in because my breast was getting distorted and creased.  My world rocked on its axis and was forever changed when they said the "C" word that I never thought I would hear.  It's ALWAYS someone else,  right?  I had Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, which was considered stage 2 due to the size of one of the tumors.  Within a week and a half of getting diagnosed, I was started on chemotherapy and I'm here to attest to the fact that it is not fun.  But the odds of beating it were good at 80% so I was still in high spirits knowing this would be a year-long bump in the road and then I could get back to my life.  In the meantime, CT scans and echo-cardiograms were done and on June 2,  the CT scan showed that the breast cancer had moved into my liver.  This immediately bumped me to stage 4, and as everyone knows, this means that there is no cure and I only have X number of years to live.  Basically, they will treat it as best they can for the rest of my life while trying to still give me the best quality of life they can.  But, I refuse to accept that diagnosis.  I am not in denial, I am not crazy (well, maybe just a little), but I AM believing in a God that is so much bigger than any cancer and who does miracles yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  I don't ask God why because, why not?  But I have asked and believe God has healed me; I'm only waiting for the manifestation of that healing.  It could be today, it could be 10 years from now.  But either way, I choose life and He is going to carry me through every day of my treatment until the day my doctor stand before me, scratching his head, saying, "I don't know what or how it happened, but the cancer is completely gone."  

The journal entries that follow are a way to let you, my family and friends, know of any new treatments or changes I have and how I'm feeling physically.  I know everyone wants to know but is sometimes hesitant to call so as not to overwhelm me.  And I appreciate that because in the beginning, I was overwhelmed with calls, even though I was brought to my knees by the outpouring of love and support.  But this way, everyone will have the same information at the same time.  I hope this helps and I love each and every one of you!!

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