I'm back....I went through the journal entries on here. Last one I made was talking about the Cancer Walk we were going to do. Wow, almost a year from it. Dad was actually hesitant yet happy to go. Not sure if it was for me, or just because it was with us. Mom told me later he was not wanting to go. thought it would be a bunch of sick people. He was nervous. You have to understand how my Dad thought about that stuff. I couldn't tell you when I heard it last. I can tell you, he said it often. If he saw someone struggling to live, whether it was being sick or by accident. He always made the comment that he wants to go like his Mom. Quick. My Grandmother had a heart attack at the Dr office with my Grandfather. Quick. Rest in Peace Gma .  that was my Dad. Didn't want to suffer. He always took care of us, never wanted someone to take care of him maybe. Anyway. The last post. I was rambling. If your reading this. Get use to it. I will. Last post. We were talking about the walk. We did it! We showed up in our winter caps, sweaters and sweat pants. Of course our large cup of crack. Dunkin. We walked around. My Dad signed the banner. (thinking of this now, I want that banner!)  who was there??? Myself, Amber, Dad, Haydee from my work. and her two kids. X and Sofia. Love that girl and those kids. She was there for me and my family with anything we needed.  We walked. 3.5 miles. We finished dead last. we didn't have a car in the world. We finished. We talked. We laughed. I wonder what was going through his mind? I look back and it's a bit of a blur. I see pictures, moments in time. One of the last real pics I had with my Dad . Side by side.  You were my rock Dad. I hope you knew that.  Anyway. It's not funny, but funny that was the last post. The 2020 Walk was coming up. In two weeks I think. It got postponed due ot this damn virus going around. Covid-19. Mom was going to walk with us. pushed back to June I think. well. Fuck that. I will still walk in June. One thing is for sure. I will walk April 4th. In honor of my Dad. What he stood for . for me, for my Mom, my Wife and my kids. I will walk for all those still fighting this shit. Funk Cancer.  That was a special day Dad.  Side thoughts. Memories from that day. When we walked. I could hear your left foot slightly hit or drag when you walked. Every step you took. It was a slight reminder of the thing killing you from the inside. You didnt let it stop you. Hell you never noticed. miss you Dad.

Kenneth F Harrell

Update: March 24, 2020 – by ken harrell