Welcome to my CaringBridge website. I am using it to keep family and friends updated in one place. I appreciate your support and words of hope and encouragement. Thank you for visiting. If you prefer not to be in the group (village) I have selected, please feel free to remove yourself. I will not be offended. From MLK, "There comes a time when silence is betrayal. Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter." During a "Deeper Healing Prayer" group in the fall of 2015 I saw this quote and it hit me hard that the time to break silence about Merv's abusive rage and his occasional, minimal infidelities was now. That my only hope to remain spiritually and emotionally alive was to break the silence. That the only hope for my daughters to have a future of whole hearted living and loving and laughter was for me to break our silence. This has been very difficult to navigate -breaking free. I wish Merv well, even as I think I can no longer be connected to him as a spouse. Also from MLK, "Only in the darkness, can you see the stars." And "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." I hope this blog helps to keep my hope and connection to others alive as I carefully navigate breaking free from the only married love I have known - a love tainted by Merv's addiction, outbursts of rage, and being loved by a man with a divided heart.