I wanted to give you an update on my changing condition. My health has begun to move downhill. I have needed to be on painkillers 24/7 due to the lesions in my bones (part of the Multiple Myeloma progression) especially in my spine, ribs and beginning other places. I am living with constant pain so these days it's easy to laugh til it hurts. There is a concern of my spine collapsing. I cannot walk much anymore and my chemo seems to be having no effect on slowing the cancer down. At this point I'm mostly medically focused and hoping to find something to help me relieve the pain and slow the cancer so I'm no longer contemplating remedies such as rubbing myself in chicken fat, running naked through the street hollering affirmations or eating 10 bowls of hand-picked organic kale a day.
I will have a radiation treatment on Monday but mostly need to find a way of stopping the advance of the cancer. It appears to be out of control right now.
I'm mostly not in a panic. My spirit and heart have been doing quite well but the physical has been a real challenge. I have been able to stay mostly present with it all and I'm hoping to achieve sainthood soon. I would just ask them to hurry.
I appreciate all your support in your many ways, especially at this time. I have many people who have leaped into action to help me in the helplessness of my day to day needs and I've had many old friends reaching out to contact me. I feel very loved and blessed.
Life is still a mystery and I'm trying to stay awake and remain conscious for the final act. Playfulness and humour have really helped me through this.