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8/17/2016 Latest post:
Thank you for visiting my site. I am telling you I pray this is only temporary...and I have been torn about having it at all. But when it got down to it...I remembered how much it meant to me to just have Alexis's and to be able to talk or write out my hard days...even they were about her...on these pages and how stress releasing it was for me. Especially when I would receive encouragement...prayers...and just love back. From those that I knew...and I knew already cared for us...and then from so many who began to care for our beautiful daughter and our family and would pray...and to this day we hear from and still pray...and we never ever take for granted. I promise you. That is why...I decided to move forward with this.
So hear it is. Since it is after 12am here...I am facing the first of 3 surgeries coming up this morning. Hopefully the hardest this morning. I have been waiting basically since about June 10th for this surgery. As the pain has become more and more excruciating and I am so ready...yet of course...I have my worries as usual. First...what am I talking about. May 10, 2016 I had surgery on my left knew to repair two torn ligaments in my left knee. As the surgeon put it..."I did a pretty good job on tearing them!" I was helping out a neighbor who was hospitalized and we did not think she was going to make it...but my best friend and husband who are also neighbor's and I helped clean out her house for her son who lives in MN...so it could be ready to sell. It is a 5000 sq. foot home with a lot of things. Well when I threw a pallet in the dumpster I twisted my knee on it...and did not think much of it. It hurt but we had so much to do that i just kept working on the house against my husbands wishes. Yes...I know. I just felt like God put it on me to help them. It's hard to explain unless you know the whole story. Anyway, I worked for almost 3 weeks on this knee...but I did get a knee brace from Shopko... and used that...and continued to carry heavy furniture up the stairs with my neighbors husband. Until I could stand it no longer. I'm trying to get across that I can handle pain. I can handle pain more than most people. I deal with migraines on a daily basis. I have had to answer for pain my entire life. I get 35 botox shots every 3 months in the back of my head and and EPG. So...let me get back to why I am having surgery. After the knee surgery on my left knee...I was telling the surgeon I had pain in my right hip...they did and MRI...and said I had hip dysplasia and I need a hip replacement in my right hip but they wanted to do a scope first and then down the road would most likely need a replacement of my left hip. I fought very hard against a scope because I was continuously told it was not guaranteed, (only 50%) and would take 6 months to recover. They at first thought I had fluid in my hip and had me get in right away for fear of infection in my hip for a radiologist to pull the fluid out...when he couldn't he put cortisone in it. This did not help. I went back twice to get another injection. The pain meds I was on were not working, I do not have an addictive personality...so sometimes I would not even take them. Right after I saw the hip surgeon near June 10th...I put my crutches at the top of our stairs....my husband was out of town at an "IT" convention. I forgot about my feet as it was 4 am and I was going to let our dog "Angel" outside and tumbled...literally...all the way down the stairs with the crutches in my arms. I was immediately shaken up and could tell I had immense pain and had made things worse and had to get myself under control as my children...well were home. After this I went back in and begged the doctor's to take a second MRI....I had waited for my husband to get home from his trip...I could barely move...we begged them. They said it would not change what they would do with my hip. I tried explaining to them my hip is 3 times worse and now my arms hurt severely. They thought their could be rotator problems but said they would not do anything about them as they would still do the scope first.
When I still refused the scope...and said I just wanted the hip replacement...and after his exam and realized he could barely touch me without a reaction from me...he said he wanted me to see the "Pain Doctor" to see if it could be a nerve or something. When this doctor said, "Pain Doctor", I started crying quite hard....you have to understand...after my car accident...I was sent to a pain hospital...and all they wanted to do was put me on medicines...where you weren't yourself...and not fix the problem. I weaned myself off of all of them and my then neurologist said he has never seen anyone do that before...and with the pain I was in. He worked part time at that pain hospital as well. I went to a gym "Fitnessology" where they did alternative things to help me walk again. But anyway...because I was crying...this doctor put down that I had anxiety and my pain levels were way to high for hip dysplasia and I needed to "control" my emotions. I still believe he was upset I did not want the scope...which is what he performed. But even the pain doctor who I then saw...told my husband and I that I would have a hard time finding a doctor to touch me now because of what he wrote. The pain doctor had the audacity to say the same thing about my pain. Even though I argued they were all looking at an old MRI...and not one since my fall. They all just dismissed my...the pain doctor just told me that it was not in my head.
Thank God for friends...and people who believe in you. I was almost going to go home and sit more...after already sitting 3 months in EXTREME pain...when a family...who is close friends of ours...Randy...called his friend Dr. Tressler who went to school with him and worked at OSMS...and got me in. I was ready to just sit in a chair and let it heal. Like everyone was saying....I was over reacting. I have so learned since Alexis"s cancer...my mom's illness's, my husband's things and my own issues'...that you HAVE GOT TO BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE TO YOUR HEALTHCARE....even if family, friends...and doctors do not believe you!!! Keep fighting until you get the answer you know is right! Someone out there knows what they are doing. Dr. Tressler listened to me...he took one look at me...did a test on my leg and knew...I had torn the muscles around my hip. He was shocked I had not had an arthrogram MRI on my hip. Thought it made only sense to have a second MRI. Also informed me the place I originally went to...as other doctor's have not told me...has an MRI machine that's picture's are equivalent to a 2 megapixel camera...so of course they are not reading it right. After my hip MRI ordered my Dr. Tressler...we found out I have a torn Labral and another tear next to it and a tear in the back of my butt. It had gotten so severe I have been wheel chair bound this last week and bedridden for the last 3 weeks.