This is one of those posts Ive never imagined I would make but first of all I am going to be just fine in time. I had a mammogram on Monday January 15, result back the next Thursday (at the airport during flight delay) which showed that I am HER2+. Yuck. Years ago it was not a curable cancer and now it is! So I am one lucky girl! It will be a bump in the road and while one does not just get over cancer, I will win this one...I have so much to do, I can’t let it catch me!!! The toughest part of all was telling Lane and the girls, of course, it was four different times, four different times to break my people’s hearts. I told Conner Sunday morning after our big night at Hello Dolly. I will never forget her teeth chattering...Lane was supposed to go to London for two weeks on Tuesday and it was my idea to just tell Him when he came back because I did not want him to cancel but Conner convinced me otherwise. So I told him when I got in from NYC Sunday night at midnight (yeah! Welcome Home Honey!) He postponed his trip and Conner flew home last Thursday morning for the weekend. I had Allison and Sandor over for dinner Monday night to tell them, even though Sandor received a heads up when I visited him at Orange Theory before his workout...Allison said she was never coming over for dinner again for fear of other bad news. Merritt was in Nashville at a doggie day care conference until Wednesday, so I had Merritt and Ashley over for dinner Wednesday night. Sharing with my girls and seeing their hearts break was possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And it was five times to break the news because I shared with my heart child, Callan, on Saturday morning. God is powerful because he was even able to hold those tears at bay on front of Callan.
It has been a whirlwind of questions and information and seeking advice and not knowing where to turn. I got in touch with my powerhouse of a friend, Dianne Mooney and she quickly let me know to go to UAB and the only doctor to see. I will forever be grateful to her for her direction. And luckily, my team is headed by her guy.
My “ologist” team meeting was Thursday...I had all my people (Lane, Allison, Merritt, Conner and my sister) with me.
So much has fallen into place. I am going to UAB ...the doctor is charming and we have been told one of the top three in the country. The Radiologist told me that I “have the A-Team”. I am candidate for clinical trial, same treatment as standard protocol with two more drugs added . Would extend treatment by 6-8 weeks...after speaking with some of the smartest people I know, I am leaning toward the clinical trial. Someone before me had to participate in trials that found Herceptin to be the Golden Child of targeted therapy....maybe I can pave the way for those behind me with even better treatment options in the future. I am working on second opinion at Memorial Sloan Kettering. (I am pretty convinced we are on the right track, just want confirmation.)
Somehow I am not frightened (maybe I am slow on the uptake) but I do have a peace that I am going to be just fine. I have too much to do still. I am not done! We have a new baby coming in May and Meme’s wedding in October...life goes on.
Maybe my peace comes from knowing how well loved I am by Lane, Allison, Merritt, Conner, my sister, Michelle, Ashley, Sandor and Greg...could not do life without them..
Now to you, if you have suffered through this lengthy post, don’t be afraid to say the wrong thing. I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable...I won’t be offended by anything and appreciate any advice. Help me help my girls by sharing with them too. The times I have heard “you’ve got this”, “you are strong”, “ gee, cancer does not know who she is up against” mean the WORLD the me! I do ask for all the prayers and good karma we can conjure up...it will all be good in time...
Ladies, I am one of the Lucky 1 in 8 of you, get your mammograms. I have had the MOST POSITIVE GENTLE CARING experience with Dr. Monika Tartaria at Camellia Women’s Imaging on Valleydale...Welcome to our CaringBridge website. We are using it to keep family and friends updated in one place. We appreciate your support and words of hope and encouragement. Thank you for visiting.